We floated into the harbor of a crescent-shaped island. As we docked in the sand, several strange creatures approached us. They were less strange than some of the other creatures I meet up with, since these creatures, you'll actually know what they are: Centaurs.
"Welcome to our humble commode, fair Vikings," a female centaur graciously bowed.
"It's ABODE, Doris," a male centaur hissed.
"Oh, I mean abode, fair vikings," Doris said, sweeping an arm back behind her as though we were seeing the island for the first time. IDC grumbled something about being a dwarf, not a Viking.
I began to ask questions of the centaurs, intrigued how there were so many on this single island, as I had quickly counted that there were over five thousand.
Apparently, this was the last group of centaurs alive in the entire world; or, at least, that they were aware of. I wasn't sure, myself; I hadn't seen centaurs since April 8th. They explained that a mysterious disease had begun to kill off their entire race, and that these were the only ones that had been unaffected by it. They had travelled to this secluded spot so they could try to rebuild their society, living on the local fried monkey and strange, purple berries that they called 'Plerries.' Since there were so few of them, they refused to participate in war of any kind. They had relinquished their bows, and had even begun a religion centering around a strange, glowing yellow stone that floated in the middle of the island. They called the stone the 'Source of Power for Love and Happiness.' I was suspicious of these strange, pacifistic centaurs, but IDC took one sniff of them and refused to budge from his ship.
"Something is wrong here, Olaf," he muttered. Not wanting to offend either dwarf nor centaur, I decided to step off the ship alone.
"Would you like food, dear Viking?" Doris asked. I was about to decline, but my stomach grumbled loudly. Doris smiled a sincere, benevolent smile. "Come with me, then," she said, turning and galloping through the forest.
We ate monkeys and Plerries whie gathered around the 'Source of Power for Love and Happiness.' It was only the size of a gobstopper, but it floated in the air as though it were held up by fishing line. I commented on it, and Doris smiled that benevolent, sincere smile. It reminded me of Chia the Mace, but Dori's smile was nowhere near as lovely as Chia's, nor was Chia's smile nearly so hairy.
"It is our belief that this stone is the reason for why we have decided to take vows of peace," Doris said. "We believe that it permeates through our being the feeling of love and peace that we all now feel." I was skeptical; the only centaurs I'd ever met were bloodthirsty, savage beasts.
"So what would you do if someone came and tried to kill you all off?" I asked.
"Like who?" Doris asked.
"Umbridge," I said.
Doris looked confused, so I hastily continued. "Just anyone," I said.
"Why, we would let them kill us," DOris said serenely.
"Why?" I asked. "You would let the last of your people die to save them from killing someone?"
"Yes," Doris said.
I was as yet unconvinced, but I continued to eat the Plerries and moneky with the other centaurs. Suddenly, one of the older ones stood. He walked to me and said, "This one has felt the peace."
"The Peace," the centaurs echoed.
"He must be given the greatest task," the older centaur said. Before I knew what was happening, the centaurs were gingerly wrapping my weapons in cloths and placing them underneath the 'Source of Power for Love and Happiness.' I began to protest, but Doris raised a hand.
"Wait," she said. I waited.
"Go and pick them up," she said.
I walked underneath the strange, glowing, yellow stone and picked up the cloth-wrapped weapons. I unfloded one of them away, and my Nun-Chucks fell out. Reaching out, I tried to touch them.
I stopped.
I was suddenly filled with revulsion at the weapon. SUrely violence was not the answer? Surely peace was the better way? I dropped my covered machete with disgust. The centaurs politely snapped their fingers.
"Do you feel the peace?" The elderly centaur asked.
"Yes," I said, almost surprising myself.
"DO you wish to war?" he asked.
"Never again," I vowed. He smiled.
"You are now bound to us," he said with a smile full of sincere love.
To be continued...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
CURD part 4
"Who the heck are you?" I asked.
"I am Ilmig the Carpenter Dwarf," the short, bearded person said, pulling out two oars and beginning to frantically row away from the towering rock. "But your friends called me IDC."
I suddenly recognized him. I had seen him standing next to Soren as I had attacked the First Ones. "So, you're a profession-confused dwarf named after a backwards LOTR character?" I asked.
IDC looked somewhat disgruntled. "Yes," he said irritably.
"Oh, interesting," I said. "Either way, I'm glad that a dwarf was the one to rescue me, especially one that I met online."
"STALKER!" IDC yelled, pulling a hammer out of no where and proceeding to beat the crud out of me with it.
With the mention of the word 'crud,' one of the CRUD's purple-head ships appeared right above us. "DIE, PRISONER!" a disembodied voice yelled.
"I mean that I read about you in Soren's account about the Urgur!" I screamed.
"Oh. Sorry!" IDC said sheepishly.
Five CRUD agents, all still dressed in long, purple cloaks. They landed in the water around us, and all raised their R-Guns at us.
"DUCK!" I yelled, grabbing IDC's head and shoving it to the bottom of the boat. I could feel the invisible blasts of the R-Guns pass right over us. Quickly standing up, I launched myself at the nearest one. He had no clue as to what happened, as the next second, his skull was cracked in four different places.
I felt myself get hit with a R-Gun blast; this one felt like a sword. As I gaspd with pain, I saw that IDC was building something with that impossible speed that Soren described in my blog. To my amazement, he had built a warship in five seconds. With a roar, he blasted two of the other CRUD agents with his cannons.
I quickly swam under the rowboat and stabbed the fourth CRUD agent. As he gurgled to a stop, I targeted the fifth CRUD agent. As I headed toward him, I yelled, "YOu know why you guys have nothing on me?"
"Why?" the CRUD agent cried, shooting a blast at me that felt like a tank's shell.
"Your guns don't do damage, only pain!" I screamed in triumph. With a earth-shattering smash, I split the guy's skull in two. Looking up, I beckoned to the purple-head ship.
The ship turned away from me and sped off toward the tower. I laughed. A rope landed in the water next to me, and I pulled myself up next to IDC.
"Good work," I commented.
"You too," IDC said smugly.
"So how'd you find where I was?" I asked.
"I didn't," IDC said. "I've been trying to learn how to get over my hydrophobia so I can come join up with my ancient Viking roots..."
"Glad you see it my way..." I said.
"And as I floated around on one of the rivers of Regundor, a freak hurricane hit me and I ended up here. I've been getting messgaes from the Bloodhound III, so I know you've been missing for months."
"I see," I said slowly. "Well, let's change that." Standing up, I screamed, "I WILL RETURN TO URBIA!"
We've been heading toward Greenland ever since. I haven't seen any CRUD agents since that Purple-Headed ship flew away. We've been on the water for two days now, and I've been using the laptop CRUD gave me to blog. IDC just muttered something about how his instruments are acting screwy. I'd better go help.
Olaf the BAAAAALD!
"I am Ilmig the Carpenter Dwarf," the short, bearded person said, pulling out two oars and beginning to frantically row away from the towering rock. "But your friends called me IDC."
I suddenly recognized him. I had seen him standing next to Soren as I had attacked the First Ones. "So, you're a profession-confused dwarf named after a backwards LOTR character?" I asked.
IDC looked somewhat disgruntled. "Yes," he said irritably.
"Oh, interesting," I said. "Either way, I'm glad that a dwarf was the one to rescue me, especially one that I met online."
"STALKER!" IDC yelled, pulling a hammer out of no where and proceeding to beat the crud out of me with it.
With the mention of the word 'crud,' one of the CRUD's purple-head ships appeared right above us. "DIE, PRISONER!" a disembodied voice yelled.
"I mean that I read about you in Soren's account about the Urgur!" I screamed.
"Oh. Sorry!" IDC said sheepishly.
Five CRUD agents, all still dressed in long, purple cloaks. They landed in the water around us, and all raised their R-Guns at us.
"DUCK!" I yelled, grabbing IDC's head and shoving it to the bottom of the boat. I could feel the invisible blasts of the R-Guns pass right over us. Quickly standing up, I launched myself at the nearest one. He had no clue as to what happened, as the next second, his skull was cracked in four different places.
I felt myself get hit with a R-Gun blast; this one felt like a sword. As I gaspd with pain, I saw that IDC was building something with that impossible speed that Soren described in my blog. To my amazement, he had built a warship in five seconds. With a roar, he blasted two of the other CRUD agents with his cannons.
I quickly swam under the rowboat and stabbed the fourth CRUD agent. As he gurgled to a stop, I targeted the fifth CRUD agent. As I headed toward him, I yelled, "YOu know why you guys have nothing on me?"
"Why?" the CRUD agent cried, shooting a blast at me that felt like a tank's shell.
"Your guns don't do damage, only pain!" I screamed in triumph. With a earth-shattering smash, I split the guy's skull in two. Looking up, I beckoned to the purple-head ship.
The ship turned away from me and sped off toward the tower. I laughed. A rope landed in the water next to me, and I pulled myself up next to IDC.
"Good work," I commented.
"You too," IDC said smugly.
"So how'd you find where I was?" I asked.
"I didn't," IDC said. "I've been trying to learn how to get over my hydrophobia so I can come join up with my ancient Viking roots..."
"Glad you see it my way..." I said.
"And as I floated around on one of the rivers of Regundor, a freak hurricane hit me and I ended up here. I've been getting messgaes from the Bloodhound III, so I know you've been missing for months."
"I see," I said slowly. "Well, let's change that." Standing up, I screamed, "I WILL RETURN TO URBIA!"
We've been heading toward Greenland ever since. I haven't seen any CRUD agents since that Purple-Headed ship flew away. We've been on the water for two days now, and I've been using the laptop CRUD gave me to blog. IDC just muttered something about how his instruments are acting screwy. I'd better go help.
Olaf the BAAAAALD!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
CRUD part 3
All right, here's what happened:
My escape plan involved strenghtening my Nun-Chucks by lubricating them with saliva, as everyone knows that Viking spit has the strength of ten bulls. After fifty days of saliva strengthened my weapon (I would have lubricated my machete, too, but after I nearly lost my tongue the first time ...)
So, with a earth-shattering Olaf the BAAAAALD! (I know you've been waiting for that to come back) I smashed the jail cell door clean off.
I found myself in a long hallway. I went right and saw a squadron of twelve CRUD agents heading toward me. I did an abrupt about-face and saw twenty CRUD agents heading toward me. All thirty-two of them leveled their R-Guns at me and yelled, "The prisoner is escaping!"
"Time to get jiggy," I laughed.
Diving at the twenty group, I quickly slashed one's head off while slamming a hole into the gut of another. An invisible swarm of bees began to sting me at the same time that I got slapped in the face, but I ignored the R-Guns' blasts and continued to kill.
I had just dispatched ten of the twenty when the twelve fell upon us. It was then that I felt the train again. Getting blasted all the way to the other end of the hallway, I fell onto my knees. The twenty two CRUD agents pointed their guns. I dove around the corner as the wall exploded, sending bits and pieces of rocks and bricks everywhere. As the CRUD agents headed toward me, I saw thirty more agents coming up the hallway that I had just jumped into. With a sigh, I dove out the hole.
"Maybe I should have looked before I leapt," I murmured. I was in a tall tower that was surrounded by dark, gray mist. The tower stretched to the ground farther than I could see, and the mists seemed to swallow the lower parts of it up. I heard a shout from above me. Decding to ignore the likelyhood that I would fall to my death, I turned.
Ten CRUD agents had jumped out of the hole after me, and they were all leveling their R-guns at me. I quickly spread my body into the eagle position, and I quickly soared up to the first Agent. A savage blast hit me in the chest, and I was blown through the air away from the tower. Three more blasts it me with quick succession, and the tower and the agents quickly faded from view. I heard one of the agents shout, "You fool! You've sent him away from us with your casual shots!"
Since I no longer saw anyone or anything, I flipped around to face downward. I still saw no movement, and the pain from the attacks from the R-guns still hurt. As I recovered, I waited to see how long it would take before I hit the bottom.
I had counted to one thousand and three out loud before I heard a voice shout, It sounded as though it came from a speaker, and it echoed all around me. "Remove the Concealing mist!" it said.
Suddenly, the dark gray mist disappeared. I saw the tower some three hundred yards to my right. The ten CRUD agents from before were still falling parallel to me. One of them pointed and yelled, "There he is!"
I quickly looked down and saw that the ground was still some distance away. I looked back over at the agents. Suddenly, a strange, flying ship flew up from below. It looked exactly like a purple, chiseled, body-builder's head. The mouth opened, and the ten Agents 'swam' into it. The Purple head turned toward me. Three missiles slowly slid out from all four sides.
"Oh, crud," I moaned.
The twelve missiles blasted toward me. I defended myself the best I could, slicing the missiles in half and smashing their noses in. One still hit me, though, and blasted me several hundred yards further from the tower.
Gasping from the pain, I looked up to see the ship still bearing down on me. I 'swam toward it, engaging in a deadly game of chicken. With a snarl, I slammed my Nun-chucks and Machete on it.
The ship exploded. The blast caused me even more pain, and it sent me even further than before. I looked down and saw that I was right above the sea. Looking down at the base of the tower- which was now visible- I saw that the whole thing rested on only one rock. With a yell, I crashed into the water. The next thing I knew, a rough hand had grabbed my hair and had pulled me into a boat.
"Hello," the short person said, stroking his beard and giving me a grin. "I've been wondering where you were."
To be continued...
My escape plan involved strenghtening my Nun-Chucks by lubricating them with saliva, as everyone knows that Viking spit has the strength of ten bulls. After fifty days of saliva strengthened my weapon (I would have lubricated my machete, too, but after I nearly lost my tongue the first time ...)
So, with a earth-shattering Olaf the BAAAAALD! (I know you've been waiting for that to come back) I smashed the jail cell door clean off.
I found myself in a long hallway. I went right and saw a squadron of twelve CRUD agents heading toward me. I did an abrupt about-face and saw twenty CRUD agents heading toward me. All thirty-two of them leveled their R-Guns at me and yelled, "The prisoner is escaping!"
"Time to get jiggy," I laughed.
Diving at the twenty group, I quickly slashed one's head off while slamming a hole into the gut of another. An invisible swarm of bees began to sting me at the same time that I got slapped in the face, but I ignored the R-Guns' blasts and continued to kill.
I had just dispatched ten of the twenty when the twelve fell upon us. It was then that I felt the train again. Getting blasted all the way to the other end of the hallway, I fell onto my knees. The twenty two CRUD agents pointed their guns. I dove around the corner as the wall exploded, sending bits and pieces of rocks and bricks everywhere. As the CRUD agents headed toward me, I saw thirty more agents coming up the hallway that I had just jumped into. With a sigh, I dove out the hole.
"Maybe I should have looked before I leapt," I murmured. I was in a tall tower that was surrounded by dark, gray mist. The tower stretched to the ground farther than I could see, and the mists seemed to swallow the lower parts of it up. I heard a shout from above me. Decding to ignore the likelyhood that I would fall to my death, I turned.
Ten CRUD agents had jumped out of the hole after me, and they were all leveling their R-guns at me. I quickly spread my body into the eagle position, and I quickly soared up to the first Agent. A savage blast hit me in the chest, and I was blown through the air away from the tower. Three more blasts it me with quick succession, and the tower and the agents quickly faded from view. I heard one of the agents shout, "You fool! You've sent him away from us with your casual shots!"
Since I no longer saw anyone or anything, I flipped around to face downward. I still saw no movement, and the pain from the attacks from the R-guns still hurt. As I recovered, I waited to see how long it would take before I hit the bottom.
I had counted to one thousand and three out loud before I heard a voice shout, It sounded as though it came from a speaker, and it echoed all around me. "Remove the Concealing mist!" it said.
Suddenly, the dark gray mist disappeared. I saw the tower some three hundred yards to my right. The ten CRUD agents from before were still falling parallel to me. One of them pointed and yelled, "There he is!"
I quickly looked down and saw that the ground was still some distance away. I looked back over at the agents. Suddenly, a strange, flying ship flew up from below. It looked exactly like a purple, chiseled, body-builder's head. The mouth opened, and the ten Agents 'swam' into it. The Purple head turned toward me. Three missiles slowly slid out from all four sides.
"Oh, crud," I moaned.
The twelve missiles blasted toward me. I defended myself the best I could, slicing the missiles in half and smashing their noses in. One still hit me, though, and blasted me several hundred yards further from the tower.
Gasping from the pain, I looked up to see the ship still bearing down on me. I 'swam toward it, engaging in a deadly game of chicken. With a snarl, I slammed my Nun-chucks and Machete on it.
The ship exploded. The blast caused me even more pain, and it sent me even further than before. I looked down and saw that I was right above the sea. Looking down at the base of the tower- which was now visible- I saw that the whole thing rested on only one rock. With a yell, I crashed into the water. The next thing I knew, a rough hand had grabbed my hair and had pulled me into a boat.
"Hello," the short person said, stroking his beard and giving me a grin. "I've been wondering where you were."
To be continued...
Saturday, October 24, 2009
CRUD part 2
I quickly came up with an escape plan. It would take many days to enact, I knew, but I decided to try it anyway, as it seemed to be my only option.
CRUD had purple-cloaked guards who would stand outside my cell and who would occasionally take potshots at me. As I dodged their weapons, I would ask them questions. Since they assumed that I would stay there forever, they were more than happy to answer.
CRUD was first formed when a rogue doctor managed to nurse the last few survivors of the Urgurian race. The doctor, believing in the Urgur's plan for vengeance intstead of hating it, began to gather more followers to serve as the Urgur's lapdogs. CRUD was also the organization that gave the Urgur their terrifying lapdogs. They wore the purple cloaks, they said, because it made them 'feel cool.'
I tried to keep on the downlow and not get into trouble, which the CRUD agents noticed, so they gave me a reward on October 8th, a full month of me being captured. Thr reward was a laotop with internet connection.
I knew it had been over a month since I posted, so I got ready to tell yo readers all that had happened. To my dismay, Soren had already started doing it. He had done such a good job, I decided to let him finish before I started up again.
So, now its almost time to start my escape plan.Wish me luck!
Oh, now I've been stuck in this cell for 49 days. Its been past time.
To be continued...
CRUD had purple-cloaked guards who would stand outside my cell and who would occasionally take potshots at me. As I dodged their weapons, I would ask them questions. Since they assumed that I would stay there forever, they were more than happy to answer.
CRUD was first formed when a rogue doctor managed to nurse the last few survivors of the Urgurian race. The doctor, believing in the Urgur's plan for vengeance intstead of hating it, began to gather more followers to serve as the Urgur's lapdogs. CRUD was also the organization that gave the Urgur their terrifying lapdogs. They wore the purple cloaks, they said, because it made them 'feel cool.'
I tried to keep on the downlow and not get into trouble, which the CRUD agents noticed, so they gave me a reward on October 8th, a full month of me being captured. Thr reward was a laotop with internet connection.
I knew it had been over a month since I posted, so I got ready to tell yo readers all that had happened. To my dismay, Soren had already started doing it. He had done such a good job, I decided to let him finish before I started up again.
So, now its almost time to start my escape plan.Wish me luck!
Oh, now I've been stuck in this cell for 49 days. Its been past time.
To be continued...
Friday, October 23, 2009
CRUD part 1
Written by Olaf the Bald, cuz I'm BACK, BABY!
That's right, I'm back! Well, actually, I'm not. I've only 'back' in the sense that I finally got internet service, rewarded to me for having good behavior in jail.
Yeah, I'm in jail, captured by a buncha CRUD agents, which is where I ended up after I disappeared after I defeated the Urgur. Which, incidentally, I'm still sorta peeved about, since Omar had to go and steal Chia from...
You know what? Let's just start from the beginning.
After I defeated the Urgur, I disappeared. I have no idea where I went. All I remember is that I was in a dark hallway, and I could not see more than three feet ahead of me either way. I decided to take the right path, and...
And that's it. Dreams: too many mysterious setting, not enough plot. Except for that dream I had once where I got dropped off at a dog pound by my parents, but hey, I'm down wi' that.
I felt my body begin to come together. That's right, come together. It was like all of my molecules had seperated and had finally decided to come back together. As I materialized, I saw Omar makin' out with Chia the Mace.
I dunno; I thought Chia and I had some special connection, but that's not what really irks me about why those two were all ova' each other. Gregory told me in an interupted phone conversation that she wanted to go on a date with me. Why would he do that if she really had the hots for Omar?
Anyway, as I felt myself become completely whole, I felt a tug at my navel. Before I could flinch, I felt myself being pulled into a strange vortex. The next thing I knew, I was in a jail cell.
The jail cell was rather large, seemingly enough room to contain over a million people. I'm not exagerating, either; this cell was HUGE. As I materialized once more, a red light began to flare right above my head, and a loud horn began to blare. Running to the single large door, I attempted to open it and found that it was closed.
Suddenly, ten strange men dressed in long, flowing, dark purple cloaks appeared from around a corner. They came up short when they saw me.
"YOU?" one of them said with in disbelief. "You're the one who killed our masters?" I wasn't sure who had said it, because the cloaks covered their entire face and bodies in such a way that each one looked alike, like a complete and total clone of the other.
"Who were your master?" I asked. "'Cause I've killed a lot of people, and unless you have a specific name or description, I'm afraid I can't..."
"Our masters were the URGUR, you NINNY!" a purple cloak said.
"Oh." I said. "Yeah, that was me."
"And you're the only one who did it?" one of the purple cloaks asked. I summoned up the innermost humility within me.
"Yep," I said.
The ten purple cloaks conferred. They turned to me once more. "You do know that the First Ones triggered a spell around them that, when they were killed, their killer would be sent to us to do as we pleased?" one said.
"And... it would please you to give me Penguin Pie, right?" I asked eagerly.
The purple cloaks stared at me. "I can't believe THIS guy is the killer," One said diappointedly.
"Believe it, bub," I said.
The purple cloaks conferred. "Though we did not expect the Urgur to ever be defeated, we expected there to be many who would defeat them, not just one man."
"One VIKING man," I proclaimed in an angry tone. I thought for a second. "I guess that's why this cell is so big..."
"No matter," a purple cloak said. "Your punishment will stay the same."
"What is that?" I asked.
"YOu will be locked in this cell, trapped, FOREVER." a purple cloak said.
"Why don't you just kill me?" I asked.
"Captivity is worse than death," one said sagely.
"Well, that blows," I said.
"OH!" Another said. "And we will be free to torture you whenever you want!"
"Whenever I want?" I asked eagerly.
"No, I meant whenever we want." the purple cloak. "Slip of the tongue."
"However, any killer of our masters is too dangerous to be allowed to have his cell door open for even a second, especially when he is armed." He gestured to my Nunchucks and Machete, which still hang at my side. "So, we will throw your food in through the bars..." he pointed. "And we will snipe you from the other side."
"Snipe me with what?" I asked.
As if on cue, all ten of the purple cloaks raised their right arms. The cloak fell away from where their hands should be. Instead of a hand, a strange, metallic-looking thing protruded from it.
"What is-" I began.
Suddenly, I was blasted off my feet. Ten different pains swept over me. It felt like I was getting hit by a train, smashed by a spiked mace, sliced by a boat motor, kicked by a kangaroo's foot, pummeled by Mike Tyson, squashed by a falling aircraft carrier, snapped by a hammer, pulverized by an irate chess player, stabbed by a knife, and shot with an arrow. As I skidded to a halt all the way on the other side of the dungeon, I felt sick to my stomach. Blood splurted off of me, and I knew my beautiful face was damaged.
"These are R-Guns," a purple cloak called. "You point it at someone and think of what pain you want them to be in, and they feel that pain."
"That's disgusting and immoral," I growled, shaking off the insurmountable pain. "How do I get one?"
"Cut off your right hand, swear alleigiance to the Urgurian cause, and allow it to be branded to your nerve system," they answered.
"Never!" I croaked. "My nerve system is too valuable!"
The purple cloaks laughed. "This will happen daily, enemy of the Urgur," one said. They turned and left my sight. Crawling onto one knee, I bellowed, "AND WHAT DO I CALL YOU?"
One returned, standing at the door of the cell. "We are the Certified Radicals of Urgur Deliverance." He turned to leave.
"Crud..." I whispered. I had already forgotten half of what he had said.
"Yes," the purple cloak said, sticking his head back into view. "We are also known as CRUD."
To be continued...
That's right, I'm back! Well, actually, I'm not. I've only 'back' in the sense that I finally got internet service, rewarded to me for having good behavior in jail.
Yeah, I'm in jail, captured by a buncha CRUD agents, which is where I ended up after I disappeared after I defeated the Urgur. Which, incidentally, I'm still sorta peeved about, since Omar had to go and steal Chia from...
You know what? Let's just start from the beginning.
After I defeated the Urgur, I disappeared. I have no idea where I went. All I remember is that I was in a dark hallway, and I could not see more than three feet ahead of me either way. I decided to take the right path, and...
And that's it. Dreams: too many mysterious setting, not enough plot. Except for that dream I had once where I got dropped off at a dog pound by my parents, but hey, I'm down wi' that.
I felt my body begin to come together. That's right, come together. It was like all of my molecules had seperated and had finally decided to come back together. As I materialized, I saw Omar makin' out with Chia the Mace.
I dunno; I thought Chia and I had some special connection, but that's not what really irks me about why those two were all ova' each other. Gregory told me in an interupted phone conversation that she wanted to go on a date with me. Why would he do that if she really had the hots for Omar?
Anyway, as I felt myself become completely whole, I felt a tug at my navel. Before I could flinch, I felt myself being pulled into a strange vortex. The next thing I knew, I was in a jail cell.
The jail cell was rather large, seemingly enough room to contain over a million people. I'm not exagerating, either; this cell was HUGE. As I materialized once more, a red light began to flare right above my head, and a loud horn began to blare. Running to the single large door, I attempted to open it and found that it was closed.
Suddenly, ten strange men dressed in long, flowing, dark purple cloaks appeared from around a corner. They came up short when they saw me.
"YOU?" one of them said with in disbelief. "You're the one who killed our masters?" I wasn't sure who had said it, because the cloaks covered their entire face and bodies in such a way that each one looked alike, like a complete and total clone of the other.
"Who were your master?" I asked. "'Cause I've killed a lot of people, and unless you have a specific name or description, I'm afraid I can't..."
"Our masters were the URGUR, you NINNY!" a purple cloak said.
"Oh." I said. "Yeah, that was me."
"And you're the only one who did it?" one of the purple cloaks asked. I summoned up the innermost humility within me.
"Yep," I said.
The ten purple cloaks conferred. They turned to me once more. "You do know that the First Ones triggered a spell around them that, when they were killed, their killer would be sent to us to do as we pleased?" one said.
"And... it would please you to give me Penguin Pie, right?" I asked eagerly.
The purple cloaks stared at me. "I can't believe THIS guy is the killer," One said diappointedly.
"Believe it, bub," I said.
The purple cloaks conferred. "Though we did not expect the Urgur to ever be defeated, we expected there to be many who would defeat them, not just one man."
"One VIKING man," I proclaimed in an angry tone. I thought for a second. "I guess that's why this cell is so big..."
"No matter," a purple cloak said. "Your punishment will stay the same."
"What is that?" I asked.
"YOu will be locked in this cell, trapped, FOREVER." a purple cloak said.
"Why don't you just kill me?" I asked.
"Captivity is worse than death," one said sagely.
"Well, that blows," I said.
"OH!" Another said. "And we will be free to torture you whenever you want!"
"Whenever I want?" I asked eagerly.
"No, I meant whenever we want." the purple cloak. "Slip of the tongue."
"However, any killer of our masters is too dangerous to be allowed to have his cell door open for even a second, especially when he is armed." He gestured to my Nunchucks and Machete, which still hang at my side. "So, we will throw your food in through the bars..." he pointed. "And we will snipe you from the other side."
"Snipe me with what?" I asked.
As if on cue, all ten of the purple cloaks raised their right arms. The cloak fell away from where their hands should be. Instead of a hand, a strange, metallic-looking thing protruded from it.
"What is-" I began.
Suddenly, I was blasted off my feet. Ten different pains swept over me. It felt like I was getting hit by a train, smashed by a spiked mace, sliced by a boat motor, kicked by a kangaroo's foot, pummeled by Mike Tyson, squashed by a falling aircraft carrier, snapped by a hammer, pulverized by an irate chess player, stabbed by a knife, and shot with an arrow. As I skidded to a halt all the way on the other side of the dungeon, I felt sick to my stomach. Blood splurted off of me, and I knew my beautiful face was damaged.
"These are R-Guns," a purple cloak called. "You point it at someone and think of what pain you want them to be in, and they feel that pain."
"That's disgusting and immoral," I growled, shaking off the insurmountable pain. "How do I get one?"
"Cut off your right hand, swear alleigiance to the Urgurian cause, and allow it to be branded to your nerve system," they answered.
"Never!" I croaked. "My nerve system is too valuable!"
The purple cloaks laughed. "This will happen daily, enemy of the Urgur," one said. They turned and left my sight. Crawling onto one knee, I bellowed, "AND WHAT DO I CALL YOU?"
One returned, standing at the door of the cell. "We are the Certified Radicals of Urgur Deliverance." He turned to leave.
"Crud..." I whispered. I had already forgotten half of what he had said.
"Yes," the purple cloak said, sticking his head back into view. "We are also known as CRUD."
To be continued...
Thursday, October 22, 2009
SS: Conclusion
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on the same day as the last seven posts.
The fight with the Urgur is over. They are officially gone for good. To be sure, the Head Ninja sent Ninjas into every point of the earth at the same time simultaneously. They are gone.
The Carpenters George and I befriended took up residence in the Newly-Heavenly Regundor Field, which they aptly named The Promised Land. Though we offered IDC to come live with us on the Bloodhound III, he declined, explaining that, though Vikings and Dwarves may be related, he was deathly afraid of water. When we explained that all he had to do was tie himself to the mast so he wouldn't fall overboard, he more vigorously declined.
Thor discovered that Poseidon had never actually participated in the battle and had merely shown up for a mention in the Newspaper that some of the (Minor Class) Reporters were making. When he discovered this disturbing news, he quickly dove into the ocean and battled with the Undersea god so he could work off steam.
Chia had slapped Omar in the face after they had broke apart, and had basically turned him into a sniveling snob by the time she was done. However, I noticed afterward that she had a faint smile on her lips, as though she was still enjoying the touch of Omar's. She had then traveled back to her own crew, leaving without giving anyone a farewell. The only thing she said to any of us was to hand Erik a note that had her number on it. A message was scrawled under the number: Give this to Olaf.
Lief headed back to CVU, where he discovered that he had a large group of angry dentists waiting for him for killing off their best spy. He quickly set the Zombies that live under the school on them, and the Dentists quickly fled to wherever they had come from before. He had then travelled to each and every single Helicopter Pilot, slipping amnesia dust in their food and drink so that they would forget that they had ever been a Main class. He then stole one of the Pilot's helicopters, but had promptly crashed it.
The rest of the crew from the Bloodhound III- Chieftain Gregory the Hairy, Me, Omar the Bold, Erik the Red, George the Yellow, and Phil the Conceited- traveled back to the ship. We had hoped to find Olaf there, but it was to no avail. I had not mentioned to anyone that I had seen Olaf watching the fateful kiss, for fear of embarrasing both Chia and Omar, so when Omar wasn't around, I confided to Erik. George, and Phil. We all got on his blog and discovered that he had announced a Hiatus on September 3, which, of course, had been only three days prior, on the same day that the Urgur had attacked on. Since Olaf seemed to have an impeccable luck in finding computers upon which to blog, we eagerly waited for a new post from him, explaining what had happened to him. By the time September 11th had rolled around, we had given up hope. In order to convince you readers that everything was fine and that he was still around, we hacked into his blog account and began to post the chronicles that I was beginning to write about the Urgurian invasion. I admit that I lied to you in that first post I wrote; I started publishing exactly on Septermber 11. I explained that it had been the fourth because I wanted to keep you from worrying. I vowed that, once I was done publishing the chronicles, I would stop filling in for Olaf and hope that he will eventually return. I expected the chronicling to take a week.
As I Schedule this post, finishing my chronicles, it is October 13th.
It has been thirty-eight days since anyone had seen Olaf.
End of the Chronicles.
The fight with the Urgur is over. They are officially gone for good. To be sure, the Head Ninja sent Ninjas into every point of the earth at the same time simultaneously. They are gone.
The Carpenters George and I befriended took up residence in the Newly-Heavenly Regundor Field, which they aptly named The Promised Land. Though we offered IDC to come live with us on the Bloodhound III, he declined, explaining that, though Vikings and Dwarves may be related, he was deathly afraid of water. When we explained that all he had to do was tie himself to the mast so he wouldn't fall overboard, he more vigorously declined.
Thor discovered that Poseidon had never actually participated in the battle and had merely shown up for a mention in the Newspaper that some of the (Minor Class) Reporters were making. When he discovered this disturbing news, he quickly dove into the ocean and battled with the Undersea god so he could work off steam.
Chia had slapped Omar in the face after they had broke apart, and had basically turned him into a sniveling snob by the time she was done. However, I noticed afterward that she had a faint smile on her lips, as though she was still enjoying the touch of Omar's. She had then traveled back to her own crew, leaving without giving anyone a farewell. The only thing she said to any of us was to hand Erik a note that had her number on it. A message was scrawled under the number: Give this to Olaf.
Lief headed back to CVU, where he discovered that he had a large group of angry dentists waiting for him for killing off their best spy. He quickly set the Zombies that live under the school on them, and the Dentists quickly fled to wherever they had come from before. He had then travelled to each and every single Helicopter Pilot, slipping amnesia dust in their food and drink so that they would forget that they had ever been a Main class. He then stole one of the Pilot's helicopters, but had promptly crashed it.
The rest of the crew from the Bloodhound III- Chieftain Gregory the Hairy, Me, Omar the Bold, Erik the Red, George the Yellow, and Phil the Conceited- traveled back to the ship. We had hoped to find Olaf there, but it was to no avail. I had not mentioned to anyone that I had seen Olaf watching the fateful kiss, for fear of embarrasing both Chia and Omar, so when Omar wasn't around, I confided to Erik. George, and Phil. We all got on his blog and discovered that he had announced a Hiatus on September 3, which, of course, had been only three days prior, on the same day that the Urgur had attacked on. Since Olaf seemed to have an impeccable luck in finding computers upon which to blog, we eagerly waited for a new post from him, explaining what had happened to him. By the time September 11th had rolled around, we had given up hope. In order to convince you readers that everything was fine and that he was still around, we hacked into his blog account and began to post the chronicles that I was beginning to write about the Urgurian invasion. I admit that I lied to you in that first post I wrote; I started publishing exactly on Septermber 11. I explained that it had been the fourth because I wanted to keep you from worrying. I vowed that, once I was done publishing the chronicles, I would stop filling in for Olaf and hope that he will eventually return. I expected the chronicling to take a week.
As I Schedule this post, finishing my chronicles, it is October 13th.
It has been thirty-eight days since anyone had seen Olaf.
End of the Chronicles.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Soren's Story: Climax
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 13th, 2009
The First Ones took their mighty fists and slammed downward onto Olaf. The Viking didn't move, as a mighty blue light began to glow around his body.
"You CANNOT defeat US!" a First One shrieked as the Blue light began to envelope its fist.
Olaf grinned. His father's battle-ax appeared in his teeth, next to his wooden pipe.
"HUMANS are WEAK!" a second First One screamed as the Blur light enveloped its whole arm.
Olaf raised his Nun-chucks and Machete into the air.
"DESTINY IS NONEXISTANT!" a third First One bellowed as it began to be pushed backward by the Blur Light. The fires surrounding them began to fade.
Olaf's Tiki Torch, strapped to his back, suddenly lit on fire.
"NO ONE HAS THE POWER TO DEFEAT US!" The last First One screamed, thrashing in a death roe.
Olaf's Trilby seemed to glow as though it was made from Steel. His shades flashed, just like in the movies, and he grinned his trademark grin.
"THEN WHY ARE YOU DEFEATED?" He roared. Somehow, he was understandable around the Ax and Pipe.
With a withering scream, the Blue light enveloped the entire group. The light began to blind us, and it seemed to grow as it came closer to our bodies. We quickly huddled for protection, and the light passed over us, leaving us in total whiteness.
The light began to fade. We hesitantly opened our eyes.
Regundor's Field had been transformed. Flowers had sprouted everywhere, and white bunnies hopped among them.
There was a pause.
"The promised land..." IDC whispered, looking to George.
George fainted.
The warriors cheered. Though we were spread out all over the field, we quickly ran to the center and began to congratulate each other. The celebration must have lasted for at least an hour before Chia cried, "Where's Olaf?"
No-one moved. The answer we had all expected- "I'm right here"- never came. Low murmurs began to echo over the entire Field.
Chia flopped down onto her knees and began to cry. Between her sobs, she choked out, "I- I think we- I think we had something."
"He's not dead," I said firmly. "We thought he was once before, but we were wrong. He's alive, somewhere."
Chia wiped her eyes. "Who am I supposed to have a clebration kiss with?" she whispered.
Next thing we knew, Omar had bent over her. The second thing we knew, he was kissing her with a passion usually reserved for over zealous actors. Most of the warriors averted their eyes. I did too, but for a different reason.
A strange, blue glow had begun to shine over the Field, right above my head. As I watched, Olaf materialized right above my head. He looked happy andf relieved, but then he saw Chia and Omar all over each other. His left eyebrow cocked, and the corners of his mouth turned downward. With a pop, he suddenly disappeared once more.
The Last To Be Continued...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Soren's Story: Last 3
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 13th, 2009
"So, tell me, Urgur," Olaf said with a grin. "You feel it is your duty to finish me off before you finish everyone else off, right?"
The First Ones looked to each other with confusion. "Yes," one said suspiciously.
"Well, I'm afraid that you're out of luck," Olaf said, slowly pulling his Machete and Nun-Chucks out of their sheathes. "You see, you're going to have to learn something that most people in this Blog have to learn."
"Learn?" a First One asked.
"Most?" another First One asked.
"People?" yet another First One asked.
"Blog?" the last First One asked.
"Oh keep up," Olaf snapped. "And yes, a BLOG. I'd think people as presumptuous to call themselves 'First Ones' would be able to recognize a Breaking of the Fourth Wall."
"But..." one of them protested.
"NO!" Olaf shouted. The fires surrounding them seemed to quaver. "I am destined to do something great. Thor has told me, Poseidon has told me, and everytime someone trys to kill me, I end up mostly unscathed."
" 'Strue." Omar said. Chia shot him a glance.
"There is nothing and no one who can stop me from completing this Destiny. And, you know what? Dying is not part of my great destiny. So you can try and try to stop me, but it is futile. FUTILE!" Olaf screamed. "And you know it! That blue light I was glowing with? That was DESTINY! You have NO power over my DESTINY!"
The Flaming Urgur First Ones snarled back.
To be continued...
Monday, October 19, 2009
Soren's Story: Last p2
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 13, 2009
The Urgur released their jet of fire. Olaf was steaming, but he seemd to glow with a blue light for the briefest of moments before he changed back to normal. The flaming figures were quiet for a moment.
"You should have died from that blast, Olaf the Bald," one said finally. "But you cannot hope to survive it again."
"And besides," another one said. "All the water is gone, anyway."
Most of the remaining warriors who hadn't died in the first wave of Urgur or run away after the sixteenth dimension Urgur Behemoth appeared or died after trying to kill the said behemoth had now run away. The remaining warriors, few though they were, were wonderingly whispering to one another. Chia leaned over in my ear.
"Why was Olaf glowing?" She whispered. I shook my head. Leaning back, she moved closer to Omar.
The Carpenters were gathered around George and IDC. They looked at George in awe. George was nervously shaking at the sight of Olaf surrounded by fire.
I looked to Thor. He had a smug smile on his face, though I could't fathom as to why.
Gregory and Lief were laying on their backs on two pieces of flatwod. I could tell they were preparing for death in the way Vikings do.
Erik was crying. I heard him whisper, "Soon, Lulu..."
Phil was looking at himself in a mirror. "I'm even more sexy in this fire light," he said happily.
I looked back to Olaf. He was staring at his hands in wonder. He raised his head and looked at Thor. He mouthed Is this it? Thor shook his head.
He turned to the Urgur with a wide grin on his face.
To be continued...
The Urgur released their jet of fire. Olaf was steaming, but he seemd to glow with a blue light for the briefest of moments before he changed back to normal. The flaming figures were quiet for a moment.
"You should have died from that blast, Olaf the Bald," one said finally. "But you cannot hope to survive it again."
"And besides," another one said. "All the water is gone, anyway."
Most of the remaining warriors who hadn't died in the first wave of Urgur or run away after the sixteenth dimension Urgur Behemoth appeared or died after trying to kill the said behemoth had now run away. The remaining warriors, few though they were, were wonderingly whispering to one another. Chia leaned over in my ear.
"Why was Olaf glowing?" She whispered. I shook my head. Leaning back, she moved closer to Omar.
The Carpenters were gathered around George and IDC. They looked at George in awe. George was nervously shaking at the sight of Olaf surrounded by fire.
I looked to Thor. He had a smug smile on his face, though I could't fathom as to why.
Gregory and Lief were laying on their backs on two pieces of flatwod. I could tell they were preparing for death in the way Vikings do.
Erik was crying. I heard him whisper, "Soon, Lulu..."
Phil was looking at himself in a mirror. "I'm even more sexy in this fire light," he said happily.
I looked back to Olaf. He was staring at his hands in wonder. He raised his head and looked at Thor. He mouthed Is this it? Thor shook his head.
He turned to the Urgur with a wide grin on his face.
To be continued...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Soren's Story: Last p1
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 13th, 2009
Olaf was buffeted by the geyers and landed on the ground, buckling to his knees. From out of the flaming geysers stepped four strange beings, which made of fire. Stepping closer to him, they raised their arms and shot a huge wall of fire around the five. Through the roaring flames, I could see and hear what was happening.
"We are The First," one of the flaming figures stated as it began a slow walk around him.
"The first of what?" Olaf asked as the other three began to emulate their brother.
"The First of the Urgur," a second flaming figure stated.
"We are the last living remnants of what the Ninjas destroyed," the third figure said.
"And we are now the last of the Urgur over all," the fourth figure said.
Olaf said something, but I couldn't hear what he had said, but he caused the four flaming figures to simultaneously scream, "Because you KILLED them!"
"You shall be the first to pay for what you humans have done to our race," one of the figures intoned. "Though our children are gone, we shall bathe this earth in fire to avenge all who died for our sake."
"Well, if you're Urgur, then my completely wet body should kill you right off!" Olaf cried. He began to run at the closest Figure.
ALl four pointed their hands at him and sprayed fire at his body.
To be continued...
Olaf was buffeted by the geyers and landed on the ground, buckling to his knees. From out of the flaming geysers stepped four strange beings, which made of fire. Stepping closer to him, they raised their arms and shot a huge wall of fire around the five. Through the roaring flames, I could see and hear what was happening.
"We are The First," one of the flaming figures stated as it began a slow walk around him.
"The first of what?" Olaf asked as the other three began to emulate their brother.
"The First of the Urgur," a second flaming figure stated.
"We are the last living remnants of what the Ninjas destroyed," the third figure said.
"And we are now the last of the Urgur over all," the fourth figure said.
Olaf said something, but I couldn't hear what he had said, but he caused the four flaming figures to simultaneously scream, "Because you KILLED them!"
"You shall be the first to pay for what you humans have done to our race," one of the figures intoned. "Though our children are gone, we shall bathe this earth in fire to avenge all who died for our sake."
"Well, if you're Urgur, then my completely wet body should kill you right off!" Olaf cried. He began to run at the closest Figure.
ALl four pointed their hands at him and sprayed fire at his body.
To be continued...
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Soren's Story Explanation
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 13th, 2009
"Since Olaf was wet, he was killing off the Urgu parts that immediately surrounded him. Since he was so tiny compared to the rest of the Behemoth, however, it did not affect the rest of it. In order to kill the Behemoth, all he had to do was crawl around in the Behemoth where its limbs were until the limb was completely seperated from the rest of it." I explained.
"That makes sense," Erik said thoughtfully.
Olaf was gradually descending, as Thor had cast featherfall on him. The surviving warriors happily cheered him on as he came closer and closer to the ground.
Four huge lava geysers suddenly erupted out of the ground, directly surrounding him.
To be continued...
"Since Olaf was wet, he was killing off the Urgu parts that immediately surrounded him. Since he was so tiny compared to the rest of the Behemoth, however, it did not affect the rest of it. In order to kill the Behemoth, all he had to do was crawl around in the Behemoth where its limbs were until the limb was completely seperated from the rest of it." I explained.
"That makes sense," Erik said thoughtfully.
Olaf was gradually descending, as Thor had cast featherfall on him. The surviving warriors happily cheered him on as he came closer and closer to the ground.
Four huge lava geysers suddenly erupted out of the ground, directly surrounding him.
To be continued...
Friday, October 16, 2009
Soren's Story: Second Form p5
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 13th, 2009
Everyone on The Field of Regundor suddenly stood still. They all stared at Chia's perfectly manicured, outstretched finger. Their heads simultaneously turned to see what she was pointing at.
Olaf's head poked out of the chest of the Behemoth. The Behemoth stared at Olaf as well, looking as bewildered as something with no face can look. Though no-one else seemed to notice, I noticed that there was a dark gray ring surrounding him.
"Man!" Olaf shouted. "It's lucky that I'm still wet; otherwise, I would be getting fried alive right now!"
There was complete and utter silence.
"OLAF!" I suddenly screamed. "START CRAWLING AROUND INSIDE THAT THING'S BODY AND RIP IT APART FROM THE INSIDE!"
There was another moment of complete and uttter silence as Olaf processed what I had said. His face brightened.
"NOOOOO!" The behemoth screamed, slamming a fist right toward the dark spot where Olaf was sticking his head out of. Olaf quickly crawled back into its body, and it knocked itself back onto its buttox. Screaming in rage, it began to pummel itself while thrashing around on the ground. The surviving warriors backed away, watching in a bewildered confusion.
Suddenly, the Urgur Behemoth's right arm fell off. It crashed to the ground, turning a dark gray as it did so. It began to disappear, and I quickly looked up to see Olaf crawling back into the quickly-graying stump.
This happened three more times, each time with a seperate limb. Soon, it was just head and chest, still screaming and almost crying in pain. Suddenly, the neck began to gray. With an earth-shattering wail, the Behemoth completely exploded, sending gray chunks of Urgu everywhere.
Olaf floated in the air, some several hundred feet in the air. As the expected cheering began, Omar turned to me.
"I don't get it," he said.
"Well, I'll explain." I said.
To be continued...
Everyone on The Field of Regundor suddenly stood still. They all stared at Chia's perfectly manicured, outstretched finger. Their heads simultaneously turned to see what she was pointing at.
Olaf's head poked out of the chest of the Behemoth. The Behemoth stared at Olaf as well, looking as bewildered as something with no face can look. Though no-one else seemed to notice, I noticed that there was a dark gray ring surrounding him.
"Man!" Olaf shouted. "It's lucky that I'm still wet; otherwise, I would be getting fried alive right now!"
There was complete and utter silence.
"OLAF!" I suddenly screamed. "START CRAWLING AROUND INSIDE THAT THING'S BODY AND RIP IT APART FROM THE INSIDE!"
There was another moment of complete and uttter silence as Olaf processed what I had said. His face brightened.
"NOOOOO!" The behemoth screamed, slamming a fist right toward the dark spot where Olaf was sticking his head out of. Olaf quickly crawled back into its body, and it knocked itself back onto its buttox. Screaming in rage, it began to pummel itself while thrashing around on the ground. The surviving warriors backed away, watching in a bewildered confusion.
Suddenly, the Urgur Behemoth's right arm fell off. It crashed to the ground, turning a dark gray as it did so. It began to disappear, and I quickly looked up to see Olaf crawling back into the quickly-graying stump.
This happened three more times, each time with a seperate limb. Soon, it was just head and chest, still screaming and almost crying in pain. Suddenly, the neck began to gray. With an earth-shattering wail, the Behemoth completely exploded, sending gray chunks of Urgu everywhere.
Olaf floated in the air, some several hundred feet in the air. As the expected cheering began, Omar turned to me.
"I don't get it," he said.
"Well, I'll explain." I said.
To be continued...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Soren's Story: Second Form p4
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on Octobver 13th, 2009
"How can he be inside that... that thing?" Erik asked, pointing to the Behemoth. Omar shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess its because he's destined for greatness; somehow, he wasn't rejected by the Sixteenth dimension because he shares the same greatness as the Urgur. I know he's protected in some way, because he never dies no matter how hard I try. Olaf must have somehow stayed in the sixteenth dimension ..."
"...Which means that when the dimension ejected all of the Urgur into one being;" Lief began.
"Olaf came out as well." Gregory finished.
"How can we know for sure?" I asked, risking a glance at the battle. The behemoth had killed nearly half of the remaining warriors, and the others were flagging fast.
We all stood silent. Chia slowly raised her head. She smiled that dazzling smile that Olaf had fallen in love with when he had first seen her.
"There," she said, pointing at the Urgur's chest. We looked.
There, sitting ever so subtlely, was a duct-tape viking helmet.
To be continued...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Soren's Story: Second Form p3
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 12, 2009
"Don't you see?" Chia cried. "'Unbelieveable unbelievability'? Olaf is must be in the sixtenth dimension!"
"That makes sense," Omar said bitterly. "But he's not there."
"He's got to be! The Urgu practically told us!'" Chia said.
"I have an Ihateolaf-dar. I can sense him wherever he is, no matter what he's doing. I lost track of him after we went through the portal, but I just picked him up again." Omar said.
"You're Peanut Buttering! He's got to be in the sixteenth dimension!" Chia cried.
"Nope," Omar said, pointing at the Urgur. "He's in there."
To be continued...
"Don't you see?" Chia cried. "'Unbelieveable unbelievability'? Olaf is must be in the sixtenth dimension!"
"That makes sense," Omar said bitterly. "But he's not there."
"He's got to be! The Urgu practically told us!'" Chia said.
"I have an Ihateolaf-dar. I can sense him wherever he is, no matter what he's doing. I lost track of him after we went through the portal, but I just picked him up again." Omar said.
"You're Peanut Buttering! He's got to be in the sixteenth dimension!" Chia cried.
"Nope," Omar said, pointing at the Urgur. "He's in there."
To be continued...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Soren's Story: Second Form p2
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 12, 2009
"How...?" Lief whispered. "How can this be?"
The Behemoth slowly turned its head to him. "When Urgur die, we do not go to the Afterlife, as you do; we go to the sixteenth dimension, where we are melded with our other dead brethren. When they is enough of us, we come back to this dimension as THIS,"
"Does that mean ..." I asked.
"Yes," The Behemoth said. "When you Vikings walked through the portal that dead Urgu left in the prison, you went to the sixteenth dimension. However, since the sixteenth dimension can only be accessed by those of unbelieveable unbelievability, you were all sent back to earth." With that helpful revelation, the behemoth began to slam the warriors into the ground.
As the screams erupted, the nine of us turned toward each other with dispair. ALl except for Chia. Her eyes shone bright, and she looked at each of us in turn.
"I know where Olaf is," she said.
To be continued...
"How...?" Lief whispered. "How can this be?"
The Behemoth slowly turned its head to him. "When Urgur die, we do not go to the Afterlife, as you do; we go to the sixteenth dimension, where we are melded with our other dead brethren. When they is enough of us, we come back to this dimension as THIS,"
"Does that mean ..." I asked.
"Yes," The Behemoth said. "When you Vikings walked through the portal that dead Urgu left in the prison, you went to the sixteenth dimension. However, since the sixteenth dimension can only be accessed by those of unbelieveable unbelievability, you were all sent back to earth." With that helpful revelation, the behemoth began to slam the warriors into the ground.
As the screams erupted, the nine of us turned toward each other with dispair. ALl except for Chia. Her eyes shone bright, and she looked at each of us in turn.
"I know where Olaf is," she said.
To be continued...
Monday, October 12, 2009
Soren's Story: Second Form
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 12, 2009
The blue, crackling light began to grow larger and larger. Some of the Warriors of the classes turned and began to flee from the field of Regundor. Soon, as the light grew larger and larger, only the stoutest of heart were left.
Well, except for George, but we made him stay.
Just before the large, blue, crackling light-filled orb touched the ground, it suddenly flashed, momentarily blinding us. As our eyes cleared, we saw, with dread sinking in our hearts:
An Urgu, at least ten thousand more times bigger than any one we had already seen.
The Behemoth laughed a mouthless laugh. It looked at the puny warriors next to it with eyeless disdain. "Foolish classes," it yelled. "You have not what we have got."
To be continued...
The blue, crackling light began to grow larger and larger. Some of the Warriors of the classes turned and began to flee from the field of Regundor. Soon, as the light grew larger and larger, only the stoutest of heart were left.
Well, except for George, but we made him stay.
Just before the large, blue, crackling light-filled orb touched the ground, it suddenly flashed, momentarily blinding us. As our eyes cleared, we saw, with dread sinking in our hearts:
An Urgu, at least ten thousand more times bigger than any one we had already seen.
The Behemoth laughed a mouthless laugh. It looked at the puny warriors next to it with eyeless disdain. "Foolish classes," it yelled. "You have not what we have got."
To be continued...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Soren's Storm (part 3)
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 11, 2009
Thor shouted the command.
The Carpenters slammed their tools upon the dam.
The warriors of the classes grasped the ropes in their flight from the Urgur.
The Helicopter Pilots forced their steeds upward.
The dam burst.
The Waters crashed upon the Urgurian army like an army of Zerglings on an undefended Protoss base.
"Nice obscure pop culture reference," Thor said.
The Individual Urgus screamed in pain as the water zapped them out of existance.
The water faded into the crevasses of the earth.
The field appeared exactly how it had been before the Carpenters had been there.
The Helicopters hovered over the field with their cargo.
The cargo erupted into a massive cheer.
"THE URGUR ARE DEAD FOR GOOD!" The warriors yelled, high-fiving each other and hooping like a banshee. George, IDC, and Lief and I had landed on the ground when the dam had been broken. We high-fived each other and emulated the rest of the Warriors of the classes. The Helicopter Pilots dropped their ropes and the Warriors of the Classes swarmed the field, celebrating their final, great victory. Five Vikings detached themselves from the party and ran over to the four of us.
"We won!" Chia, Omar, Gregory, and Erik cried.
"I won!" Phil cried at the same time. Everyone ignored him.
As we congratulated each other, we heard a bump. The field immediately fell silent.
A strange, crackling sound began to emanate from the very center of the field. The warriors began to back away from it, inching closer and closer to the edges.
A strange, blue, crackling light began to shine above the field.
To be continued...
Thor shouted the command.
The Carpenters slammed their tools upon the dam.
The warriors of the classes grasped the ropes in their flight from the Urgur.
The Helicopter Pilots forced their steeds upward.
The dam burst.
The Waters crashed upon the Urgurian army like an army of Zerglings on an undefended Protoss base.
"Nice obscure pop culture reference," Thor said.
The Individual Urgus screamed in pain as the water zapped them out of existance.
The water faded into the crevasses of the earth.
The field appeared exactly how it had been before the Carpenters had been there.
The Helicopters hovered over the field with their cargo.
The cargo erupted into a massive cheer.
"THE URGUR ARE DEAD FOR GOOD!" The warriors yelled, high-fiving each other and hooping like a banshee. George, IDC, and Lief and I had landed on the ground when the dam had been broken. We high-fived each other and emulated the rest of the Warriors of the classes. The Helicopter Pilots dropped their ropes and the Warriors of the Classes swarmed the field, celebrating their final, great victory. Five Vikings detached themselves from the party and ran over to the four of us.
"We won!" Chia, Omar, Gregory, and Erik cried.
"I won!" Phil cried at the same time. Everyone ignored him.
As we congratulated each other, we heard a bump. The field immediately fell silent.
A strange, crackling sound began to emanate from the very center of the field. The warriors began to back away from it, inching closer and closer to the edges.
A strange, blue, crackling light began to shine above the field.
To be continued...
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Soren's Storm (part 2)
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 10th, 2009
IDC, George, Lief, and I quickly scaled the dam. The warriors were trying as hard as they could to kill the Urgur, but the Urgur were blasting them apart. I wasn't sure how long we could hold out.
IDC got to the top of the dam first, throwing his legs over the edge and hitting the top without stopping. I was right behind him, and we both ignored Lief and George as we split off into two seperate directions.
Since I was much taller than IDC, I had soon surpassed him. I was running along the dam, alone, yelling to the carpenters that when the signal was sounded, they were to demolish their creation.
By the time I had met Lief and George half-way around, I had run for two hours. That gives you and idea of how big the Field of Regundor is. IDC came chugin up behind me a few minutes later, gasping for breath. "How do we give the signal?" He gasped.
Putting two fingers to his lips, George whistled. Thor appeared, covered with blood and grinning with pleasure.
"Urgur don't have blood; how come you're so bloody?" I asked.
"Well, there was a group of Ninjas not watching where they were going, and... I HAVE NO IDEA," he lied. "What do you need?"
"Shout the signal for the carpenters to break the dam, the signal for the warriors to grab the ropes, and the signal for the helicopter pilots to get the heck out of here," I screamed.
To be Continued...
IDC, George, Lief, and I quickly scaled the dam. The warriors were trying as hard as they could to kill the Urgur, but the Urgur were blasting them apart. I wasn't sure how long we could hold out.
IDC got to the top of the dam first, throwing his legs over the edge and hitting the top without stopping. I was right behind him, and we both ignored Lief and George as we split off into two seperate directions.
Since I was much taller than IDC, I had soon surpassed him. I was running along the dam, alone, yelling to the carpenters that when the signal was sounded, they were to demolish their creation.
By the time I had met Lief and George half-way around, I had run for two hours. That gives you and idea of how big the Field of Regundor is. IDC came chugin up behind me a few minutes later, gasping for breath. "How do we give the signal?" He gasped.
Putting two fingers to his lips, George whistled. Thor appeared, covered with blood and grinning with pleasure.
"Urgur don't have blood; how come you're so bloody?" I asked.
"Well, there was a group of Ninjas not watching where they were going, and... I HAVE NO IDEA," he lied. "What do you need?"
"Shout the signal for the carpenters to break the dam, the signal for the warriors to grab the ropes, and the signal for the helicopter pilots to get the heck out of here," I screamed.
To be Continued...
Friday, October 9, 2009
Soren's Storm
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 8, 2009
A Urgu stepped out of the blue crackling light. Before he could move, a mass of warriors roared and attacked him with fury, swarming over him until he was gone from sight. Before anyone could hope that he was gone for good, however, there was a tremendous exploding sound, and the warriors surrounding him flew in all directions.
As more Urgur began to pop out of the blue crackling light, the vikings around me roared a fiercesome battle cry: "RED ROOOOOOOVER!" They began to join the warriors who were throwing themselves against the wall of Urgur, all begin blasted off their feet or getting killed outright. Only IDC, George, Lief, and I remained. We all turned and sprinted for the dam.
Lief began to signal the Helicopter pilots. The Helicopter pilots began to streak across the field, dropping long, thick ropes over our side of the battle. As the warriors began to fall back before the never-ending sea of Urgur, Lief, IDC, George, and I reached the dam. Thor swooped over us.
"Why are you fleeing?" He asked.
"It's part of our strategy!" I cried.
"Don't see it yet, but I suppose I will soon," he muttered. Lief cried, "Thor, tell everyone to grab one of the ropes that the Helicopter pilots are dropping when you shout the code word!"
"Part of the strategy? ALl right," he said, doing just as Lief had asked.
The warriors were warned.
To be continued...
A Urgu stepped out of the blue crackling light. Before he could move, a mass of warriors roared and attacked him with fury, swarming over him until he was gone from sight. Before anyone could hope that he was gone for good, however, there was a tremendous exploding sound, and the warriors surrounding him flew in all directions.
As more Urgur began to pop out of the blue crackling light, the vikings around me roared a fiercesome battle cry: "RED ROOOOOOOVER!" They began to join the warriors who were throwing themselves against the wall of Urgur, all begin blasted off their feet or getting killed outright. Only IDC, George, Lief, and I remained. We all turned and sprinted for the dam.
Lief began to signal the Helicopter pilots. The Helicopter pilots began to streak across the field, dropping long, thick ropes over our side of the battle. As the warriors began to fall back before the never-ending sea of Urgur, Lief, IDC, George, and I reached the dam. Thor swooped over us.
"Why are you fleeing?" He asked.
"It's part of our strategy!" I cried.
"Don't see it yet, but I suppose I will soon," he muttered. Lief cried, "Thor, tell everyone to grab one of the ropes that the Helicopter pilots are dropping when you shout the code word!"
"Part of the strategy? ALl right," he said, doing just as Lief had asked.
The warriors were warned.
To be continued...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
soREnsSTory (Before the storm: 4)
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 8th, 2009
Now that we were all on the same page, we were unsure of what to do next. The armies of the classes had all come together; the field of Regundor was completely filled to the brim with warriors. I suppose that's not true; there was a rather large section left untouched, as if everyone was leaving the spot so the Urgur could have a place to stand and slaughter.
The nine of us gathered stood in silence; Me, Erik the Noisy, Phil the Conceited, George the Yellow, Omar the Bold, Chia the Mace, Lief the Armless, Gregory the Hairy, and Ilmig the Dwarfish Carpenter. The overriding thought in everyone's mind was this: Where was Olaf?
There was a crackle, and Thor appeared above the field. A large rumble came from the large dam the Carpenters had built, and Poseidon appeared. The two gods regarded each other with disdain, then turned their heads.
"What can we do?" Erik asked.
"We can't do this without Olaf," George said.
"Why not? We vikings have done a lot of stuff without Olaf," Omar growled.
"True, but Olaf is the spirit of all Vikingdom," Lief said solemnly.
"Olaf is the only one who truly embodies all that Vikings stand for," Gregory said.
"I thought that I was the only one who truly embodies all that Vikings stand for," Phil cried. Everyone ignored him.
"I've never met him, but I already feel his influence," IDC moaned.
Chia said nothing; a tear rolled down her cheek. I roused myself.
"Wherever Olaf is, I bet he's trying as hard as he can to reach us," I said. "He'll be here."
A light of determination lit upon everyone's eyes.
A crackling blue light began to emanate from the untouched spot of field.
It was on.
To be continued...
Now that we were all on the same page, we were unsure of what to do next. The armies of the classes had all come together; the field of Regundor was completely filled to the brim with warriors. I suppose that's not true; there was a rather large section left untouched, as if everyone was leaving the spot so the Urgur could have a place to stand and slaughter.
The nine of us gathered stood in silence; Me, Erik the Noisy, Phil the Conceited, George the Yellow, Omar the Bold, Chia the Mace, Lief the Armless, Gregory the Hairy, and Ilmig the Dwarfish Carpenter. The overriding thought in everyone's mind was this: Where was Olaf?
There was a crackle, and Thor appeared above the field. A large rumble came from the large dam the Carpenters had built, and Poseidon appeared. The two gods regarded each other with disdain, then turned their heads.
"What can we do?" Erik asked.
"We can't do this without Olaf," George said.
"Why not? We vikings have done a lot of stuff without Olaf," Omar growled.
"True, but Olaf is the spirit of all Vikingdom," Lief said solemnly.
"Olaf is the only one who truly embodies all that Vikings stand for," Gregory said.
"I thought that I was the only one who truly embodies all that Vikings stand for," Phil cried. Everyone ignored him.
"I've never met him, but I already feel his influence," IDC moaned.
Chia said nothing; a tear rolled down her cheek. I roused myself.
"Wherever Olaf is, I bet he's trying as hard as he can to reach us," I said. "He'll be here."
A light of determination lit upon everyone's eyes.
A crackling blue light began to emanate from the untouched spot of field.
It was on.
To be continued...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
soREnsSTory (Before the storm: 3)
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 6, 2007
Chia had appeared somewhere near Gregory. Though the two had never formally met, they knew each other on sight. Gregory had quickly asked Chia about the whereabout of the rest of us, but she had honestly said that she had no clue. Gregory had explained that he was gathering the Vikings together into an army, the likes of which had not been seen since the battle against the Laotogo. As the Viking ships from around the world fell into the Bloodhound III's wake, Gregory and Chia had a heart-to-heart.
"I think I've grown to like Olaf," she said. "I want to ask him out on a date."
"Ok," Gregory had said. With a deft movement, he had pulled out his cell phone and had dialed Olaf's number.
"What are you doing?" Chia had tersely asked.
"Telling him that you want to ask him out on a date," Gregory explained.
Neither were sure if Olaf had actually heard Gregory's announcement. All they were sure of was that after Chia had slammed Gregory's phone into a million pieces, they saw that the time Olaf had picked up his phone and had been listening for eleven seconds before it had been broken. The 'eleven' was ingrained in the broken phone's screen.
"Thanks a lot," Chia muttered. "Now you ruined the whole encounter."
"Only trying to help," Gregory had said defensively.
There apparently wasn't much incidents after that.
To be continued...
Chia had appeared somewhere near Gregory. Though the two had never formally met, they knew each other on sight. Gregory had quickly asked Chia about the whereabout of the rest of us, but she had honestly said that she had no clue. Gregory had explained that he was gathering the Vikings together into an army, the likes of which had not been seen since the battle against the Laotogo. As the Viking ships from around the world fell into the Bloodhound III's wake, Gregory and Chia had a heart-to-heart.
"I think I've grown to like Olaf," she said. "I want to ask him out on a date."
"Ok," Gregory had said. With a deft movement, he had pulled out his cell phone and had dialed Olaf's number.
"What are you doing?" Chia had tersely asked.
"Telling him that you want to ask him out on a date," Gregory explained.
Neither were sure if Olaf had actually heard Gregory's announcement. All they were sure of was that after Chia had slammed Gregory's phone into a million pieces, they saw that the time Olaf had picked up his phone and had been listening for eleven seconds before it had been broken. The 'eleven' was ingrained in the broken phone's screen.
"Thanks a lot," Chia muttered. "Now you ruined the whole encounter."
"Only trying to help," Gregory had said defensively.
There apparently wasn't much incidents after that.
To be continued...
Monday, October 5, 2009
soREnsSTory (Before the storm: 2)
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 5, 2009
Phil had crash-landed right into Lief. Apparently, Lief had accidentally killed the Dentist who knew the weaknesses of the Urgur and was setting off for the main Dentist headquarters to capture another one. Phil stout-heartedly refused to do anything that he didn't want to do.
"They'll make your already perfect teeth more perfect;" Lief pressed.
Phil agreed to continue.
After they had arrived, they quickly beat down one of the guards and began to torture him for information. It turned out that that Dentist was the only person they knew of who had discovered the Urgurian secrets, and that if Lief hadn't killed him, they would have been able to tell him the secret.
"Curses!" Lief lamented in a much more sorrowful way than saying the word 'Curses' implies. "I fear that we shall never discover the weaknesses of the Urgur, and we shall all perish!"
"Um," Phil said. "I already discovered their weaknesses."
"You did?" Lief excitedly asked. "What are they?"
"First you must fawn over me." Phil said.
"Never," Lief said.
1.75 days later, after much fawning, Phil finally told Lief what was up. After the information was given, Lief and Phil high-tailed it to the final meeting of the classes, where the main leader of each class was meeting in conference. Lief explained that there was a chance that we could beat the Urgur, but it was very slim. Very slim indeed. No-one could think of a way to get that much water into the field without drowning their own men. NO-one.
"Helicopters aren't better than me," Phil had then muttered.
It was then that marked a new time in a new generation of classes. With those off-spoken words, the nine main leaders of the nine main classes decided: It was time for a new class to join the ranks of the major classes.
Helicopter Pilots are now the tenth major class.
Even as Lief explained the story, helicopters circled the skies, awaiting immediate evacuation in case anything went wrong. I nodded, marvelling at the ingenuity of his plan. But one thing bothered me.
"Helicopter Pilots are completely lame. Why would we add them as a Major class?" I asked. Lief coughed.
"Well, quite simply, they wouldn't accept any other offer." He said.
"So I guess that means there's ten major classes now," I said. Lief grinned.
"Not for long," he said. "I think we Vikings should slaughter them all and steal their helicopters if we ever get through this."
"Why would you want a helicopter?" I asked. "You already drive a kick-butt ship."
"But helicopters are SO COOL!" Lief breathed.
"Cooler than me?" Phil demanded.
"Of course," Lief responded.
As the oncoming tussel occured, I turned to Chia and Gregory.
"Well?" I said.
To be continued...
Phil had crash-landed right into Lief. Apparently, Lief had accidentally killed the Dentist who knew the weaknesses of the Urgur and was setting off for the main Dentist headquarters to capture another one. Phil stout-heartedly refused to do anything that he didn't want to do.
"They'll make your already perfect teeth more perfect;" Lief pressed.
Phil agreed to continue.
After they had arrived, they quickly beat down one of the guards and began to torture him for information. It turned out that that Dentist was the only person they knew of who had discovered the Urgurian secrets, and that if Lief hadn't killed him, they would have been able to tell him the secret.
"Curses!" Lief lamented in a much more sorrowful way than saying the word 'Curses' implies. "I fear that we shall never discover the weaknesses of the Urgur, and we shall all perish!"
"Um," Phil said. "I already discovered their weaknesses."
"You did?" Lief excitedly asked. "What are they?"
"First you must fawn over me." Phil said.
"Never," Lief said.
1.75 days later, after much fawning, Phil finally told Lief what was up. After the information was given, Lief and Phil high-tailed it to the final meeting of the classes, where the main leader of each class was meeting in conference. Lief explained that there was a chance that we could beat the Urgur, but it was very slim. Very slim indeed. No-one could think of a way to get that much water into the field without drowning their own men. NO-one.
"Helicopters aren't better than me," Phil had then muttered.
It was then that marked a new time in a new generation of classes. With those off-spoken words, the nine main leaders of the nine main classes decided: It was time for a new class to join the ranks of the major classes.
Helicopter Pilots are now the tenth major class.
Even as Lief explained the story, helicopters circled the skies, awaiting immediate evacuation in case anything went wrong. I nodded, marvelling at the ingenuity of his plan. But one thing bothered me.
"Helicopter Pilots are completely lame. Why would we add them as a Major class?" I asked. Lief coughed.
"Well, quite simply, they wouldn't accept any other offer." He said.
"So I guess that means there's ten major classes now," I said. Lief grinned.
"Not for long," he said. "I think we Vikings should slaughter them all and steal their helicopters if we ever get through this."
"Why would you want a helicopter?" I asked. "You already drive a kick-butt ship."
"But helicopters are SO COOL!" Lief breathed.
"Cooler than me?" Phil demanded.
"Of course," Lief responded.
As the oncoming tussel occured, I turned to Chia and Gregory.
"Well?" I said.
To be continued...
Saturday, October 3, 2009
soREnsSTory (Before the Storm: 1)
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 3, 2009
After Erik and Omar had gone through the Urgu death trap, they had arrived together right smack dab in the middle of a Minor class convention. Apparently, the Minor classes had been approached by a Robotic representative and had been asked to help with the elimination of the Urgur. The Minor classes were all discussing if they should help.
When Erik and Omar had appeared, they had appeared behind some curtains on the stage that the speakers were speaking on. After the two Vikings had discerned where they were and what the meeting was about,
they had stepped from behind the curtain and had revealed their presence. After the Minor classes had calmed down from seeing the awesome personage of a Viking, Omar began to speak. He gave a rousing speech on why the Minor classes should help. They weren't moved. Erik gave a rousing speech on why the Minor classes should help. They weren't moved. Erik and Omar quickly killed thirty representative from thirty different classes in ten seconds. They were moved.
Erik and Omar had led the Minor classes all the way to Regundor valley, which was where everyone was now.
After they had finished their story, I turned to Phil and Lief.
"What happened to you guys?" I asked.
To be continued...
After Erik and Omar had gone through the Urgu death trap, they had arrived together right smack dab in the middle of a Minor class convention. Apparently, the Minor classes had been approached by a Robotic representative and had been asked to help with the elimination of the Urgur. The Minor classes were all discussing if they should help.
When Erik and Omar had appeared, they had appeared behind some curtains on the stage that the speakers were speaking on. After the two Vikings had discerned where they were and what the meeting was about,
Erik and Omar had led the Minor classes all the way to Regundor valley, which was where everyone was now.
After they had finished their story, I turned to Phil and Lief.
"What happened to you guys?" I asked.
To be continued...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
sOREN'S sTORY
Written by Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe on October 1, 2009
The Urgurian battle was going to commence the next day, so the carpenters quickly built some shelters and we all fell asleep. When we woke up and came out of the shelters, I gasped with amazement.
To our surprise, the armies of the classes had arrived. Ninjas, Vikings, Pirates, Dentists, Robots, Firemen, Postal Workers, Clowns, and Samurai milled around the field like a million drops of the sea. All were strangely silent. Suddenly, I noticed that the nine main classes were not the only ones who had arrived. Amazons, Butlers, Cowboys, Little Kids, High-School Teachers, and every other minor class were also intermingled with the other classes. It was strange to see so many classes together without any violence occuring.
Suddenly, a cry split the silence. I turned my head to see six Vikings running toward us. To my joy, I saw Omar, Phil, Erik, Chia, Lief, and Gregory, all together in a group. George was so excited, he wet his all-ready wet pants. The Carpnters that were gathered around him made a strange warcry and bowed before him.
"Soren!" Erik called to me. "Where have you been?"
"I can say the same thing about you!" I cried. "What happened since we last saw each other?"
"Actually," Omar said, giving Erik a strange look. "There are several stories that we each need to tell."
"All right," I said. "First we need Olaf."
"So he's with you?" Chia asked relievedly. "Good, I was worried about him."
"He's not with us," I sad worriedly. "I thought he was with you."
"No-one's seen him since you got out of that jail cell," Lief said, his brow furrowed in thought.
"How'd you know about that?" I asked.
"These four have told me what happened to them up to that point, but everything else is still up in the air." Lief explained.
"Well, I'll tell you what happened to us two," I explained. George whispered, "Good; I'm more scared of public speaking than I am of being burned alive."
"I got a match and a can of gas that says otherwise," Gregory said.
"FIRE? AHHH!" George screamed, collapsing into a heap. The Carpenters bowed.
I quickly told all who were present the story, and introduced IDC to them all. Once I was done, the others were solemnly nodding.
"Well, while you and George were one group, the rest of us split into four seperate groups," Erik explained. "Phil and I were in one group,"
"I ended up reappearing next to Lief," Chia said.
"And I wound up near Gregory," Omar muttered, giving the Chieftain an annoyed look.
"And Olaf is ... somewhere," Chia worriedly whispered.
"What happened to Erk and Phil?" I asked.
To be continued...
The Urgurian battle was going to commence the next day, so the carpenters quickly built some shelters and we all fell asleep. When we woke up and came out of the shelters, I gasped with amazement.
To our surprise, the armies of the classes had arrived. Ninjas, Vikings, Pirates, Dentists, Robots, Firemen, Postal Workers, Clowns, and Samurai milled around the field like a million drops of the sea. All were strangely silent. Suddenly, I noticed that the nine main classes were not the only ones who had arrived. Amazons, Butlers, Cowboys, Little Kids, High-School Teachers, and every other minor class were also intermingled with the other classes. It was strange to see so many classes together without any violence occuring.
Suddenly, a cry split the silence. I turned my head to see six Vikings running toward us. To my joy, I saw Omar, Phil, Erik, Chia, Lief, and Gregory, all together in a group. George was so excited, he wet his all-ready wet pants. The Carpnters that were gathered around him made a strange warcry and bowed before him.
"Soren!" Erik called to me. "Where have you been?"
"I can say the same thing about you!" I cried. "What happened since we last saw each other?"
"Actually," Omar said, giving Erik a strange look. "There are several stories that we each need to tell."
"All right," I said. "First we need Olaf."
"So he's with you?" Chia asked relievedly. "Good, I was worried about him."
"He's not with us," I sad worriedly. "I thought he was with you."
"No-one's seen him since you got out of that jail cell," Lief said, his brow furrowed in thought.
"How'd you know about that?" I asked.
"These four have told me what happened to them up to that point, but everything else is still up in the air." Lief explained.
"Well, I'll tell you what happened to us two," I explained. George whispered, "Good; I'm more scared of public speaking than I am of being burned alive."
"I got a match and a can of gas that says otherwise," Gregory said.
"FIRE? AHHH!" George screamed, collapsing into a heap. The Carpenters bowed.
I quickly told all who were present the story, and introduced IDC to them all. Once I was done, the others were solemnly nodding.
"Well, while you and George were one group, the rest of us split into four seperate groups," Erik explained. "Phil and I were in one group,"
"I ended up reappearing next to Lief," Chia said.
"And I wound up near Gregory," Omar muttered, giving the Chieftain an annoyed look.
"And Olaf is ... somewhere," Chia worriedly whispered.
"What happened to Erk and Phil?" I asked.
To be continued...
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