Summer Files: Dentists

Yesterday, Gregory the Hairy discovered that a squad of highly trained Dentists were planning on attacking Urbia over the next few days. We rescheduled our Ninja-Hunting Trip, and started working on defences.

Omar the Bold, Soren the Hard-of-Hearing Scribe, Erik the Noisy, Lulu the Loud, George the Yellow, Phil the Conceited, and I were all assigned to guard the Ale. The entire town's ale is kept in a single barn in the middle of jimmy eats world... I mean, of the town.

As we sat, waiting for the Dentist onslaught, Omar did something rather odd. OH, have I mentioned he has a blog, too? Its omarhatesolaf.blogspot.com. I LOVE how he put his name, and then put a bunch of random letters at it. Priceless! Its like Xkcd! ANyway, he did something odd.

I was looking right at him. He looked at me, and then looked past me. I turned around to see Phil massaging his Headrest. That wasn't anything new, so I turned back around to look at Omar. He was raising his huge sword above his head as though he was preparing to stab me.

He stabbed.

I easily deflected the blade with the chain of my Nun-Chucks, and calmly told him, "Watch where you swing that thing."

Omar became infuriated, I assume, because it was too much of a blow to his ego that I corrected him. He yelled at me, "PHIL! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DISTRACT HIM SO I COULD KILL HIM AND BLAME IT ON THE DENTISTS LATER!" I was honestly expecting something like, "DON'T CORRECT ME!" but the poor guy had obviously lost his mind and thought I was Phil. In order to make him remember who I was, I bashed him in he head with my Nun-Chucks.

"Distract him yourself," Phil said conceitedly, making out wih the Headrest.

It was at that point that we were attacked by the Dentists. Erik fell first, his teeth a brilliant shade of pearly white. Screaming, Lulu dove onto him to protect him, but her teeth got cleaned as well. I quickly tied George to the two unconscious Vikings and told him that a big monster was coming to eat him. George ran screaming away, dragging both of the Dentisted Vikings to Rasputin the Healer, who George always runs to when he's scared, since Rasputin is also George's therapist.

Anyway, Omar woke up at this point. To make sure that he wasn't still crazy, I leaned over in his face, swinging my Nun-Chucks in a circle and killing Dentists left and right, and yelled, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

"DIE!" Omar screamed, quickly trying to throttle me. I knocked him out once again and continued fighting.

The dentists soon decided it was time for a Taffy break, so they left us for the next day. The remaining four Vikings... Me, Omar, Soren, and Phil ... decided to take a well-earned rest.

Dentist's corpses are rather comfortable pillows.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!