CVU

An almost-viking named Slider the Slighted (see the comments for 'My Origin') wishes to know the entrance requirements for CVU. Very well, then.

1.) You must graduate High School with an average GPA of 1.00 or lower. This is a challenging task, as you need to be so smart, you know the answers so you can get them wrong.

2.) You must get a zero on all major tests, like the SAT, ACT, and IDC. This is challenging, if not more so than requirement #1.

3.) You must wear nothing but a Viking Uniform for a full week, and you can't take it off. Shower in it, eat in it, dance in it, go on a date in it, they don't care. Just wear it for 168 hours.

4.) Gain a kick-butt viking name. My name, Olaf the Bald, isn't too kick-butt. However, its better than someone I once knew, Nicholas the Sharkbait.

5.) Get a weapon. Common misconception about vikings is that we only use hammers, axes, and the occasional uber-sword. Oh, no. ANYTHING that can be used for a weapon, is used by a viking, as long as it can wildly be swung arounf as a melee weapon without killing yourself. Take my Nun-Chucks, for instance.

6.) Hate with a passion all Ninjas, Pirates, Robots, Firemen, etc. Unless, of course, you're cool with them. Then its ok... to have a temporary* ally.

7.) Take the Viking Pledge.

I pledge my (insert weapon of choice here)

To the Viking Nation, which is known as Norway,

And to the Death, which surely awaits me,

I am a Viking, here me roar,

and Doom and Destruction for all.

That's pretty much it for the CVU entrance requirements.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!

*Temporary