Headrests

As I have mentioned before, vikings use a variety of weapons. But there is one weapon engineered during the 19th century that tops all others. And judging by the title, I'm sure you guessed by now what it is: a Headrest.

Now, I know what you're thinking: Is Olaf on drugs? No, I can honestly say. Listen to why headrests are the best weapon, for these reasons:

1.) They're pointy on one end. You get stabbed by one of the pointy things, you take hard damage. Hard.

2.) They're large and bulky on the other end. Smack someone around with 'em, serious damage is done. Is.

3.) They're really easy to find. Just go find a car, yank one of them out, and BAM-O! Instant weapon, baby.

4.) They give your opponents false hope. For some reason, non-vikings think that headrests aren't that scary. So they start laughing when they see a big, burly viking swinging a headrest, they laugh. And can't stop. That gives YOU the chance to bash their head in. And not stop.

The thing is, most vikings don't call Headrests (the most scientifically awesome weapon ever) their weapon of choice for several reasons. For one thing, since its so powerful, it becomes less of a challenge to destroy your enemies, and vikings love a challenge. Another reason is that most vikings who use headrests (like Phil the Conceited in MY crew), are all egotistic posers who think they're Thor's gift to vikings. They're all like, "oh, yeah, check it out, dork, headrests are my weapon-of-choice, loser, yeah..."

Those people make me want to bash their head in with MY weapon of choice, the Nun-chucks. Twice.

I gotta go. I'm trying to get a Weapon Of Choice Change (WOCC) approved by Gregory the Hairy. he won't let me change to the headrest weapon of choice, since we already have a Headrest wielder in our crew, and we don't have another nun-chuck wielder.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!