Burritos in the Nose

It was Viking Volleyball on the Bloodhound II yesterday. Everyone gathered together on the poop deck* and began to play. Since there is SO many people on the crew, most everyone was just taking turns.

I had just come back from soccer practice, so I was beat. I came on the boat a good twenty minutes after everyone else had started playing, (Its essential to know that I had had time to take a quick shower and freshen up, so I was wearing my trilby and shades), and flopped onto a bench next to Lulu the Loud.

I have this BIG nose, and Lulu has this teeny nose. Remember that now.

Anyway, since I starving because I hadn't eaten since a few hours before practice, I whipped out one of my burritos that I always carry around with me and began to chew. Lulu turned to me and seemed to notice that I was there for the first time.

"Hey, Olaf!" she said. "Can I where your shades?"

"No," I said.

"Can I wear your shades?" she asked.

"Sure!" I said, handing them over to her. She excitedly put them on. They excitedly fell down her too-small nose.

""DANG""!! she ingrammatically cried. "Your nose is HUGE!"

"Hey!" I said. Then I remembered she was right. "Right, right," I said.

While the V-game raged on, Lulu continually tried to keep them on her nose. Her attempts became too much for me, though, and I started to laugh. Uncontrollably.

POP! went the burrito that WAS in my mouth.

ZIP! went the burrito that was now somewhere in my nostril.

"ARGH!" I screamed in pain.

I quickly ran to the bathrom, grabbed the thickest paper towels I could find, and began to frantically try and blow the chunk out. But it was to no avail. I then tried to force the burrito back into my mouth by breathing in. Nope. I then poured an entire bottle of water down my nose. Still nothing. With one last desperate attempt, I blew out. Hard.

POP! the burrito bit that was the size of Rhode Island popped out, in all of its chewed glory. The best part was, I felt much better than I had been feeling. There was only one thing to do.

I told Lulu every single last stinking thing that I had done, in a somewhat mocking, angry manner. She burst into tears.

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ACCUSE ME OF STUFF?" she screamed.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS DOING STUFF!" I screamed back.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?" she screamed.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A WATER BUFFALO!" I screamed back.

We shared a high five because we had started cracking up again. It was then that we noticed the volleyball game had stopped playing. and all were staring at us with strange looks on their faces.

I decided to cut my losses the only way I knew how. I KOed her with my Nunchucks and ran overboard.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!

*That makes playing volleyball even more challenging, since we take the term 'poop deck' seriously.