Why? The Pecan Pie?

You know, despite my ever-lovin' love of Pie, there's one bane in the Pie Factor than ruins all.

PECAN. PIES.

I've never really liked nuts of any sort, and the braces I had for a few years really helped resist the temptation, but the worst nut of all time is the Pecan. I swear, the DEVIL eats those things for his breakfast cereal. The DEVIL!

And you know what else? Cheesecake IS a pie. It's in crust, so its a Pie. Same as Pizza.

So its time. I'm going to take out the entire Pecan Industry. Its been my bane for TOO long!

I'm just going to leave this post up until I get down taking it out.

Ok, the deed is done. Its been about five hours since I typed that last sentence. Needless to say, taking out the entire Pecan Industry was wierd.

"I like your dress," I said to it as I escorted it to its seat.

"Why, thank you," The entire Pecan industry said as it sat down. I ran around to the other side of the table and sat down as well.

"Ok, listen, we need to talk," I said. "I hate pecans. Stop putting them in pies. You're giving the rest of the pies a bad name."

"This is why I'm always mad at you!" The entire Pecan Industry cried. "You're always accusing me of things! Like that one time, when I was talking to that dude, and you said I was cheating on you ... Why can't you just accept me for who I am without accusing me all the time?"

"Listen!" I said. "Stop putting Pecans in pies. That's all I ask."

"You selfish pig!" The entire Pecan Industry cried. "Accept me!"

"Stop putting Pecans in pies!" I repeated.

Needless to say, the rest of the date didn't go well. I think that next time, I'm just going to have to blow it up or something.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!