Summer Files: Atlantis 3

After Phoenix sacrificed himself to open up the door (he apparently did a Viking Fart, which usually blows the person up into tiny, tiny pieces. Phoenix, of course, no exception) Genvieve, Bulldog Rush, Cursive, and I went pelting helter-skelter through the city, begin chased by the Atlantean Royal Guard. We decided to head straight for the Atlantean Palace, where Poseidon rules with an Iron fist.

Poseidon and Thor used to go way back. They used to go over to each other's pantheons and play B-Ball, some video games, maybe play some Pretty Pretty Princess, they were the best of friends. But one day, Poseidon suggested that HIS trident could beat the Hammer of Thor. Thor was furious. I mean, come one, Poseidon doesn't even have the Spanish version of possession for his trident! And so, Poseidon and Thor became bitter enemies. Which is another reason why we're trying to take over Atlantis. Thor decreed it.

Anyway, we ran to the palace, into the palace, and Assaulted Poseidon. He, of course, is a god, so he only lost like, one hitpoint, before he killed off Bulldog Rush. After an extremely short moment of silence for our fallen friend... A VERY short one, since Poseidon was still coming after us, we decided to call upon the powers of the awesome Thor to help us. The next thing we knew, Cursive's Hammer was glowing yellow, and we knew: The power of the Hammer of Thor had imbued itself into the power of the Hammer of Nathan the Great AKA Cursive. With one mighty blow, the Hammer of Nathan the Great AKA Cursive imbued with the power of Thor destroyed Poseidon's trident.

"OH DANG!" Poseidon said. "My Trident!"

"Now we can destroy you in, like, two rounds tops!" Genvieve said.

At that point, all one million members* of the Atlantean Guard flew into the palace and surrounded us.

"Or, my Guard will destroy you in, like, half a round tops." Poseidon said smugly. Then his face blanched. "Unless you hit the Hammer of Thor on the Floor."

Of course, you know what that meant.

"Hammer Rap"

by Olaf the Bald AKA Skirt-Wearer

Hammer of Thor,

hit it on the floor,

this dude's a bore

Golfers say fore!

One Three is four,

I joined the Corps,

I stole girl your,

Lookit the gore!

Give me more,

kill a boar,

clogged are my pores,

Hear me roar!

As I wickedly freestyled, Cursive hit the Hammer of Thor on the Floor, which immediately killed every single Guard Member and dealt Poseidon 999 damage, which is, of course, the max. Poseidon, weakened beyond belief, gasped, "What do you want? I'll give you anything! ANYTHING!"

The Pie-Eaters assembled.

"We need to tell him to hand over Atlantis for all of the Vikings to use!" Cursive said.

"I agree!" Genvieve said.

I, of course, knew that what they were asking was a horrible idea, so before they could ruin EVERYTHING, I spoke up.

"We want some internet access!" I shouted.

So here we are.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!

*Not an exaggeration. There are exactly one million members of the Atlantean Guard.