My Age

Well, thefireyrage dude! You suggested I talk about my age! How dare you! I just can't believe that you would do this! What the heck! Don't you know that its rude to ask an old person's age! Argh!



Oops.



I just admitted I'm old.



That's the fifteenth step to proving you're old!



DANAG!*



Ok, so here goes why I am eight hundred and eighty five years old. Eight hundred and ninety years ago, we vikings were dying out. It was crazy. The Viking lords of the sea all came together and debated for months on how we needed to figure out a way to keep us from dying out. While they debated, the Viking Lords died out from lack of oxygen, do to their constant yelling at each other. This was when Pirates decided to steal the idea of having Lords from us, and now they are credited with having 'Pirate Lords.' Stupid Pirates. Despite how our main leaders died, we still needed to figure out a way to keep from dying out. During this time of turmoil, I was born on November Eleven, in the year One Thousand, One hundred, and Twenty Three. As I grew up, a famous Viking inventor named Chompsky the Inventor created something he called 'A Time Machine.' Explaining to the Viking community that if we entered this 'Time Machine', we could go ahead into the future where life wasn't so bleak. We immediately jumped onto his idea, and began packing. On my fifth birthday, 11/11/1128, we all board onto the machine. After listening to five minutes of Chompsky rumbling on exactly how his time machine was gonna work, some of the more buff Vikings shoved him off- for being a Nerd- and hit the 'Go' button, sending us all eight hundred and fifty six years into the future. When we arrived in 1984, we learned that the epidemic that had been killing us off in the past- Knights- were all but gone. We also learned that Chompsky, in a fit of revenge, had fathered in another epidemic to plague us Vikings who left him in the past: Postal Workers. Despite his descendants constantly hunting us down, we managed to settle all over the world, where we once again began to pillage it. So, though my body is only a spry thirty, my mind is eight hundred and eighty five years old. Talk about confusing.

And no, the rather large paragraph is not a copy of a Wikipedia Article, unlike yesterday's. It is all from my 885 year-old body.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!

*Not a typo, in case you were wondering the other ten times I used that word. Its a fake swear word I made up. Clever, no?