VIking Helmets- (The End of COOA)

You know what happened to Olaf? He won. Yeah, I did. That was obvious, no matter what answer you picked. I've decided that this whole idea is stupid on at least seven levels. So, I'm back (again) to giving you fresh-picked advice!

Some Vikings have decided to start using the internet, like I already did (I'm a trend setter, baby!) Some of them have started a f0rum, one that no Non-or-Almost Viking will ever be able to find. And one of the topics on the forum right now is... VIKINGS APPARENTLY DON'T HAVE HORNS ON THEIR HELMETS!

Some scientists think that the reason we aren't aware of this is because of the Time Machine Incident Eight Hundred and Eighty years ago (as referenced to in the 'My Age' post of May, 2009). But whatever the case, THIS is the reason why we are concerned about our horns.

I mean, I've been wearing horns on my helmets for years, and never thought about it! It DOES make sense, though; I mean, swinging a weapon around usually gets blocked by whacking your own horns and stuff. It does help in SOME occasions, though. One time, I swung my Nunchaku at a ninja, and on a backswing, I whacked the left horn of my helmet and it flew off. After the ninja was dispatched, I turned around and saw that the two horns were imbedded in a Clown, who had been sneaking up on me minutes before.

I guess the main reason why I'm so upset is, even though YOU may not remember, I remember the Knights of the first half of 12th century, the one I was born in. Knights were cheap, to put it mildly. They wore hornless helmets, tons of armor, and were nearly IMPOSSIBLE to kill. They were one of the main reasons behind the Viking depression of the 12th century, and one of the main reasons why we left it. We learned that, in an effort to kill off the ninjas in Europe, knights tried to kill them off with the bubonic plague, which had been secretly invented by robots. However, Ninjas are just too dang fast to catch diseases, and the plague backfired on the knights, killing them all off so there were none left by the time the Vikings arrived in the late 20th century.

Anyway, if we Vikings didn't wear horned helmets, that means our helmets are no better than a ... GULP ... knight! UGH!

There IS one advantage to this, though. Since Phil the Conceited had to go and sell all of my COOL, METAL helmets on eBAY, I had to make a new one out of duct tape. It is NOT very Viking-esque. I'm constantly worried that its gonna fall off into the water and get ruined, get sat upon and crushed, ANYTHING bad that can happen to a duct tape contraption, I constantly worry about.

Horns are hard to find nowadays, with Environmentalists (a wanna-be class, like cowboys and astronauts) like PETA killing anyone who takes a picture of an animals bad side or worse, its just hard. The main problem is, even if I wanted to get a full-blown horned viking hat again, most cost money (Which Vikings don't use) or need horns (Which those poser environmentalists are obviously hoarding.). SO, I think if I'm going to get a true helmet again, I'ma gonna need to go hornless style.

Where am I gonna get the actual helmet part, though? I think I know. Omar the Bold has, like, fifty metal bowls in his kitchen. I think I can sneak in and get one ...

I'll keep ye posted, as I think I'm going through a image change....

Olaf the BAAAAALD!