Avoiding

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Sometimes, you get separated from your crew and find your self being hunted by your enemies. There's a few ways to avoid being caught, and all of them are on a need-to-know basis. You need to know, in case you were wondering.

The first thing you need to consider is what environment you're in. The main five environments that everyone traverses in every day are Urban, Forest, Desert, Mountain, and Fire.

URBAN: When you're escaping from enemies in the urban area, don't run in the middle of the street, like all urban chase scenes in movies end up ending in. Stick to backyards and fences. If you need to throw the chasers off your trail, throw rocks into windows as you run, but make sure the holes are big enough that you could slip into. That way, if someone like a Ninja comes along the path you went, they see the broken window and think Oh, he must be in there. If you need to escape this environment, hijack a car. Most people don't mind when you hijack their car, especially if you ask to hijack their car politely. So remember: When hijacking a car, say please and thank you.

FOREST: Forests are the most untamed parts of the world. You could be having a pleasant stroll through the forest when a hole opens up underneath you and you end up riding a slide into the middle of the earth where cloud-like people named Dornabies live. Though finding one of those holes might help you escape from your enemy that is currently chasing you through the Forest, Dornabies are more trouble than they are worth. Trust me. What you really want to do is run up to a willow tree, shout the magic song, and let yourself in.

DESERT: Make like a frog and bury yourself in the sand.

MOUNTAIN: These things are annoying to try and avoid your enemies in. My best advice is to start as many avalanches and rockslides going behind you while avoiding starting ones above your head. There's not been a real conclusive research gone into exactly about how to do that, since most of the researchers working on that have died from improbable causes, like getting hit by an avalanche or rockslide. If you find a cave in the mountains, don't go in, but make a fire right on the outside. Then hide right above the entrance. When your enemy finds the fire, he'll go in, wondering if you went in. That's when you start jumping up and down on top of the entrance. If you time your jumps right, then the entire cave will collapse. If it doesn't, I'm sorry. If you are then killed by your enemy, I would recommend coming to me and asking for your money back, since my methods didn't work.

FIRE: Oh, man, this is easy. Join the Weapon X supersoldier program, get alloy adamantium grafted to your skeleton, and jump right into the next pit of lava you see. Its an utterly painful process (What's you think, I would say painless?), but its worth it, especially if you end up seeing your aforementioned Ninja enemy flail around like Gollum in the lava. Its especially priceless if you get the ninja on videotape with you doing the voice over: "My PREEEECIOUSSS...."

Olaf the BAAAAALD!