Spring Break

Ah, Spring Break! The time of the year where Vikings get one of their 52 weeks off from working. 'Cause, you know, we don't work. Vikings, like all the other people on spring break, participate in many activities that make grandparents think and cats wonderingly wonder what you're doing. In preparation for the next week, here are some pointers:

Bungee Jumping: I highly recommend doing this activity, but for those that have sharp, slicy weapons, like swords, don't take them with you. One accidental jerk and your bung is cut. The end result? HARD PLUMMETING.

Swimming: Don't take your weapon for this, either. Sure, if you kill a shark using your weapon, you'll get girls. But if you kill one with your HANDS, then you'll get that many more girls. To make sure a shark actually appears, fall on a bed of nails so you're bleeding profusely when you go out into the water.

Golf: The only reason to play golf is to get into golf-cart races while chucking Golf Clubs and Golfers at your opponents. It's like VikingCart TM, but in real life! Actually, VikingCart is the video game I'm the worst at. But REAL LIFE VikingCart TM... I pown.

Amusement Parks and the Like: Dude, These places are awesome. The only advice I can give to you is to bring a concealed weapon, for all the clowns that lurk in these places. But DO go crazy. If you can Bungee Jump inside a Golf Cart while killing a shark with your bare hands with three chicks* holding onto you in fear inside an amusement park, you're surely gotten the most out of your spring break. And yes, amusement parks allow you to go Bungee GolfCart Shark Hunting ANYTIME, as long as you sign the waivers.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!

*Despite the fact I really like Nun-Chucks, if you have three Chucks holding onto you in fear, its not a good thing. Unless you're a chick yourself. Then that's fine, though everybody knows that all people named Chuck are uncool.**

**I apologize to anyone cool named Chuck.