Penguins

I hate Penguins with a passion that rivals the heat of a thousand suns. Why? you may ask. Penguins are cute and cuddly. EVERYONE loves penguins. Well, guess what? I HATE PENGUINS!

I would appreciate penguins more they all just went and stopped hating their descendents. They hate their descendents? you ask. The answer is a full-blown, pig-wrestling, hard core YES. Here is why.

1. Penguins travel hundreds of miles to go to some 'Magic nesting ground'. Masny die on the long trip there. If they really wanted to nest, they should do it... BEFORE they travel hundreds of miles. Its not efficient.

2. While the penguins mate, they begin to die from the horrible cold. They die while arriving. They die while trying to get a mte. They die even WHILE MATING! Its like a bad Real-Time-Strategy video game.

3. When the egg finally comes out of mommy penguin (many penguins die while waiting for the egg to come out, as well.) she has to give it to daddy. The switch, if done incorrectly, makes the egg freeze over. Dead, frozen penguin babies.

4. Dad sits on the egg while the mom goes back thousands of miles to eat. Poor dad begins to starve. If mom doesn't hurry back soon, he starves to death trying to keep the egg warm.

5. Mom finally comes back. Now DAD goes to go eat while MOM sits on the egg. So mom starves to death as well.

6. While both penguins are eating, they are getting hunted and eaten by the predators of the sea, like killer whales, seals, sea lions, and the like.

7. When the penguins finally hatch, some of them can't withstand the cold, some of them can't keep from getting eaten by seagulls, some many of the penguin babies DIE.

8. Those baby penguins then repeat the process.

I hate penguins, because if they really wanted to love their kids, then they shouldn't have them, so their kids wouldn't have to go through the worst life EVER. Any race who wants their kids to be born into a LIFE OF DEATH and TORMENT shouldn't deserve to exist.

On that note, I like Ice Cream.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!