Chucks

My primary pair of Nun-Chucks, the ones I stole from the Ninja I cleaved, (see My Origin, March Post), are made from a solid metal. But in my many years, I've learned a great many things about the different types of Nun-Chucks. Here is a list I've compiled, for your reading pleasure:

1.) Metal Nun-Chucks: The BEST. Hard to break, hard to deflect, hard to beat. The extra weight adds to the damage given to an opponent, and they flash in the sun... AND in the BLOOD! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

2.) Wooden Nun-Chucks: Eh. They're pretty good, if you're in a pinch but enough whacks against some skulls (about 17-53, depending on the type of wood), and your poor wooden Nun-Chucks begin to splinter and fall apart. It's sad. Only Duct Tape will slow the inevitbale from occuring: your Nun-Chucks will break.

3.) Foam, Rubber, 'Styro' Nun-Chucks: The only thing this kind of Nun-Chuck is good for is fr smacking your amigoes when you don't actually want to hurt them. And you only get about one or two whacks in before having to replace these. And it doesn't even hurt (much)!

4.) Drum-Chucks: I've copyrighted this phrase, just to let you know. Copyrighted in a way that IF YOU WANNA USE THE PHRASE, YOU GOTTA PAY ME FIVE BUCKS A DAY TO USE IT! That being said, Drum-Chucks are an invention invented by the wonderful me. In case you haven't figure it out yet, I am a HARD CORE DRUMMER! So, by combining two of my favorite loves together, I made Drum-Chucks: Two Drumsticks connected by a chain. Clever, no?

5.) Bone-Chucks: This type of Nun-Chucks are for food fights. Take two chicken bones (or any type of bones, I don't care), wrap spaghetti around two of the ends, and behold! Instant dinner weapon!

6.) Fun-Chucks: Nun-Chucks made out of balloons. Used mainly by clowns. Poser clowns.

7.) Run-Chucks: These are two bombs connected by a chain. When you hit one of them against something, you have ten seconds to run before they blow up.

8.) Dumb-Chucks: Two Penguins connected by a chain.

9.) Bum-Chucks: Two hobos fighting over some money wielded by a Nun-Chuck User.

10.) Rum-Chucks: For fighting pirates. Stick your stick-sections of your normal Nun-Chuck into bottle, and as you whack pirates, they won't notice you doing so, as all they have eyes for is the floating bottle. Take a note: Pirates + Bottle = ineffective pirate. Ever see Pirates of the Carribean? Valued Rum more THAN THEIR VERY LIVES!

11.) One-Chucks: A broken pair of Nun-Chucks with only one stick and one chain. Go get some new ones, cheapskate.

Remember these different types of Nun-Chucks, as all will be necessary to learn if you plan on becoming like me: Nun-Chuck master of your viking crew.

Olaf the BAAAAALD!